Energetic of Style

Episode summary:

• [00:06:04] Tammy’s Symptoms & Solution for Exhaustion
• [00:11:26] Busy vs Productive
• [00:13:55] Energetics of a Signature Look
• [00:23:09] Mini Experiment
• [00:28:28] More about Tammy

• [00:30:13] Final Five Questions
• [00:30:28] Definition of Wellness
• [00:32:34] Recharge Method
• [00:33:44] Masterful Skill
• [00:34:07] Geeking Out
• [00:34:40] Ideal Day
  
• [00:36:54] Tammy’s One Thing

Listen to the full episode

Meet our guest, Tammy Parrish

Tammy Parrish is an image consultant at The Clothing Compass. She’s on a mission to show women how to develop their authentic style and just say no to fast fashion and impulse shopping. She does this through her Edit-Style-Plan-Shop process and the Create Your Signature Look program she runs with makeup artist Natalie Setareh. Tammy works primarily online, and is available for face-to-face services when time and budget allow.

Learn more about Tammy’s work on her site at the Clothing Compass and Create your Signature Look.

transcript

transcript created by Castmagic AI, may include errors

Tammy Parrish [00:00:00]:
It starts with how do you wanna feel? How do you wanna feel? You can say, what do you want other people to think about you, but how do you wanna feel? And maybe part of that, you’re talking about conserving energy. Maybe you want more tranquility and calm. So my first thought goes back to the colors, but there’s all kinds of other elements to to think about. The personality, the goals, how someone feels, and translating that into the physical stuff that you hang on your body.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:00:30]:
Are you ready to reclaim your life from exhaustion and expand the possibilities of what life can be? If so, I’m your guide, Evelyn Pacitti, work life geek and engineer turned resiliency coach on a mission to redefine how we work, live, and utilize our energy. Each episode, I dig deep with my guests as they share their story spark strategies for developing our own unique work life blend. This Is engineering serenity. Episode 8, the energetics of styling with Tammy Parrish.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:02]:
Today, we are geeking out with the amazing Tammy Parrish. We are going to look at where she’s at, where she’s going, and what we can do with our clothes to help Impact our energy level. With that, I’d like you to get to know Tammy a little better. So what is your name?

Tammy Parrish [00:01:19]:
Tammy Parrish.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:20]:
What is your age ish?

Tammy Parrish [00:01:23]:
I will be 49 soon.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:27]:
What industry do you work at?

Tammy Parrish [00:01:29]:
I am in image consulting.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:33]:
How many hours do you work about per week?

Tammy Parrish [00:01:35]:
Oh, gosh. Too many. Too many. I would say probably about 50.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:45]:
Do you like your career?

Tammy Parrish [00:01:48]:
I do. I do. Yes.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:51]:
There’s a just a hint of something there, but we’ll let that slide for now. Maybe it’s the season of life. Mhmm. Where are you located in the world?

Tammy Parrish [00:02:03]:
I live in Amsterdam in the Netherlands.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:07]:
What culture were you raised in?

Tammy Parrish [00:02:11]:
I am from the USA, from the middle of the USA, very average American family that you might see in movies.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:23]:
Can you describe your household?

Tammy Parrish [00:02:24]:
Yeah. I live with So my husband and our 10 year old daughter. And we have no house pets.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:34]:
Do you have any hobbies?

Tammy Parrish [00:02:36]:
I do. I love cooking and reading. I love hiking in the mountains. That’s a little tough to do in the flat Netherlands.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:47]:
Yep. Maybe a poor life choice of location to live, but, hey,

Tammy Parrish [00:02:50]:
I can’t practice my hobby most of the time here, but, and what else? I actually I would call this a hobby as well, but I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. And I love putting myself in strange situations where I don’t know what to do and I have figure it out. I would call that.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:03:10]:
Oh, I like that. That’s a good hobby. Today, I’m gonna practice my hobby of being in new and interesting situations. Ugh. Just make my just my whole system, but oh oh, that’s a good one to add to the list. How would you describe your work life balance right now? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being perfectly balanced and blended and one being like, oh, Forget it.

Tammy Parrish [00:03:34]:
Yeah. I would say it’s a 5 right now, and I am in the process of making changes to that because I do love working. My balance might not be what other people would call balance, but I would like to get it up to an 8, and I think I can do that if I work smarter. I’m not very efficient with my working. I tend to get easily distracted, and I spend a lot of time doing very little.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:07]:
So you mentioned that you don’t think that your balance would fit the typical definition of people’s balance. Why do you say that? Can you tell me more about what your balance feels like for you.

Tammy Parrish [00:04:17]:
Yeah. I don’t mind spending a lot of time working. I just want to get paid for it. So I would like more of my working time to be income producing time.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:34]:
Okay. So work for you is really tied to the income aspects and the amount of it is not really a problem as long as it’s tied to the other aspects.

Tammy Parrish [00:04:45]:
Yeah. I wanna get paid for my work, and I think that’s also a principle we can judge it or not, but I do think that especially women should be paid for their work.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:57]:
Oh, there’s so many things to think about there. On the life side, are there certain aspects that make you feel like that balance is in place?

Tammy Parrish [00:05:05]:
Yeah. I think that It’s more about I don’t personally feel like I’m working too much. I just feel like there’s not enough productive hours in that work part. My challenge is that my family, meaning my Husband and daughter would like it if I worked less and spent more time with them. So if I have to be really honest, it’s more about a guilt thing,

Evelyn Pacitti [00:05:33]:
which I think in many ways, women in general struggle with our expectation. We might wanna work. We wanna put in the hours and we enjoy it. And then you have that mother guilt of, I should be picking up my kid. I have the ability to pick them up early. I should go get them even though I want to continue to work.

Tammy Parrish [00:05:53]:
Yes. I have that quite often. Yep. Mhmm.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:05:56]:
I think that’s somebody many of us can really relate to. Yeah.

Tammy Parrish [00:06:01]:
Yeah. I feel it. Have you

Evelyn Pacitti [00:06:04]:
ever had a period where you’ve been struggling with stress or exhaustion or even been on the brink of burnout?

Tammy Parrish [00:06:11]:
Oh, yeah, definitely.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:06:13]:
Is it something that has changed the way that you’ve operated or have you adjusted in some ways? Can you share a bit about that experience?

Tammy Parrish [00:06:21]:
Yeah. I’m thinking of well, because I’m so I’m it’s my personality that I’m very If I’m into something, I really go all in. Mhmm. And I notice sometimes when that’s causing me stress, and I’ve gone too I’ve gone too far.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:06:41]:
So how do you know you’ve gone too far? What is how does that show up? Does it show up as physical symptoms or ways You react during react to other people.

Tammy Parrish [00:06:48]:
Yeah. All of the above. So I noticed I have, like, a tightness in my throat. I feel tightness in my shoulders. I feel like an I don’t know what the feeling is, but there’s a feeling in my stomach where I think, oh, this is good. Sometimes I even feel jittery without caffeine, so feeling very on edge and also personality wise, I become quite bitchy and short-tempered, and I’m getting really upset and irritated of other people when I realized I’m the one with the issue. So it’s not what someone’s doing to me. It’s that I’ve I’m feeling stressed, and then I’m lash out a lot more quickly.

Tammy Parrish [00:07:31]:
It’s very, very I mean, I’m already an impatient person and I’m always in a hurry, but I tend to yeah. It’s even worse.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:07:39]:
So when those symptoms show up, how do you adjust and how have you adjusted how you operate knowing this?

Tammy Parrish [00:07:45]:
Yeah. I tend to not learn from my mistakes because I I would say once a year, I go through something like this where I’m really I’ve just pushed the expression. There’s an American expression burning the candle at both ends, or maybe it’s just English language, but burning the candle at both ends. So when I get to that point where I’m feeling all the symptoms I just mentioned, then I say, okay, I’ve gotta take it down. So then I figure out what is it the first thing I try to do is sleep more because I’m quite protective about my sleep. I’ve gotten very, very my sleep is my priority, and everything else will suffer

Evelyn Pacitti [00:08:30]:
As long as I take the night’s sleep,

Tammy Parrish [00:08:32]:
do not wake me. Okay. So, so getting more sleep, really just not making any new appointments because I tend to I’m one of those people I do have a schedule and I say, this is my day for administration. This is my day for x, y, z. And I try to only do one thing socially or one sort of off-site work meeting. I try to take that a week to keep it in balance, but I like to be social. So at some point, I’m packing too many things in and then I just stop. I’m like, okay, no more new appointments.

Tammy Parrish [00:09:05]:
I’ve gotta clear the plate, so to speak. So the sleep, the no new appointments, and then really trying to really looking at what’s coming up in the next couple of weeks and What are all the things I can move off, push off, push out to give myself more space because it’s really, And honestly, post COVID, I am more sensitive to over planning as I got so used to having a very empty agenda. And what’s interesting is that I don’t want to go back too too much. So I it’s my instinct to crawl back in that direction, but it’s I had definitely learned to do less, and I’m okay with doing less. And I’m actually kind of have less tolerance for this, What’s it called? The something of busy. It’s like a syndrome where it’s like we’re prized for being praised, prized, etcetera.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:10:14]:
Oh, yeah.

Tammy Parrish [00:10:15]:
For being busy, like, the of busy. It was like, It’s a. See it as a badge of honor, like, oh yeah. If you’re, if you’re smart and you’re talented, then you got too much to do, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:10:30]:
It’s like, if you finish a project 2 days before, it is less valuable than if you pulled an all nighter and finished 2 minutes before. Yeah.

Tammy Parrish [00:10:43]:
Yeah. And then I think in a bigger sense, then I start thinking why where does that come from? Isn’t it really just all tied back to capitalism and where that’s we’ve been trained to do that. We’re supposed to produce stuff to make money for someone. So

Evelyn Pacitti [00:10:59]:
What is our value if we’re not producing something?

Tammy Parrish [00:11:02]:
Yes. So I’m very conscious of that now and trying in different ways to I don’t wanna use the word dismantle. It sounds very but right now, just try and break it down and, and avoid falling into that busy syndrome. I I don’t wanna be busy.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:11:26]:
So there’s a difference between for you busy and being productive because you actually opened our conversation saying that you want to be more productive, maybe intentional Yeah. With the time that you use without it being busy.

Tammy Parrish [00:11:42]:
Yeah. I’ve started working with an assistant to delegate things. So I have been able to evaluate what am I spending my time on and what parts of that can I outsource or what parts don’t just don’t need to get done, another option? So I’ve gotten better about that. I think what would help me is if I were more consistent about planning. Because I think that it boils down to because I lack a plan, I find myself back in that treading water kind of phase or just doing the stuff on my list and losing sight of the goal.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:12:24]:
Yeah. Do you consider yourself more of a detailed person versus a big picture person?

Tammy Parrish [00:12:31]:
You know what I think it is? I’m a very creative person, but I think and I’ve really always been allowed. I’m thinking even when I was a kid living in my parents’ home, I was allowed to pursue the creative parts, but I was pressured into being a perfectionist. So I think I’ve I’ve put a lot of time into and my sort of default is to go and try to make all the details perfect when it’s actually not my strength. I’m actually better at bigger picture, but the detail is my default, I guess. But when you look at it, I I spent years years organizing fundraising events for nonprofit organizations. And I look back and think it’s a miracle that nothing really bad ever happened because how was I in charge of all these details? I can do it. I can do it, but I don’t enjoy it. So Why was I torturing myself and as having that as a career?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:13:35]:
So this is really interesting about so you’re a image consultant, and you help do signature looks and styling and all that kind of stuff. And in many ways, I always think that’s a details game. Yeah. And maybe I have a wrong perception of that.

Tammy Parrish [00:13:55]:
Yeah. I think it is. I think the part that’s easy to teach. So on the topic of creating a signature look, which is an energy saver, time saver

Evelyn Pacitti [00:14:05]:
Now you’re talking my language. I’m listening. Energy saver signature luck. Tell me more. Tell me more.

Tammy Parrish [00:14:12]:
So Some people really want to express themselves visually through their appearance and find it fun to do that themselves. So they don’t mind and they enjoy putting a lot of time into it. Other people think, okay, I understand image is important. We make 95% of our decisions based on the subconscious brain, which is reacting to things like how you look, how you smell. So they they realized image is important. I need to do that thing, but I don’t wanna spend much time on it. I’d like to reduce the cognitive energy. Like, let’s reduce that part amount of time I’m spending on my looks.

Tammy Parrish [00:14:59]:
I’m gonna outsource it. I’m or I’m going to just, for myself, decide. This is my look. Right?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:15:05]:
When I go down that road, I’m always a brand I’m gonna end up, like, As Steve Jobs, I’m just gonna wear the same black turtleneck every day and a pair of blue jeans or a lot of I think the minimalist, Matt D’Avelli on YouTube, he wears the same Black, simple, cotton t shirt. I was like, but what if I don’t want a black turtleneck every day for my signature look?

Tammy Parrish [00:15:26]:
Yeah. There’s I actually have a program with a makeup artist called create your signature look, and we don’t get what’s the opposite of macro micro. We don’t get that micro. So do you have the uniform, the Steve Jobs black turtle, like the Barack Obama blue or gray suit, and those are purists. They are really like, look, I I’m gonna eat the same meal every day because it saves time and I know. Right? So the that’s extreme, and then you’ve got people who say, I can’t decide more than 5 minutes before I get dressed what I wanna wear because I need to have the freedom to choose and to make it different and based on my mood. So in the middle there, you’ve got a huge range. And there’s elements of style.

Tammy Parrish [00:16:08]:
Things like how your clothes fit, the color, the contrast, the fabric. You’ve got these elements that you can play with. So depending on and also this is the co color discussion is very interesting as far as energy because color is energy. Right? You have it’s molecules moving around. Some people are color blind, so color means something very different to them, but color is one thing, you could decide, hey, I’m only gonna wear purple. That’s my color. I love it. Purple.

Tammy Parrish [00:16:42]:
Everything I buy is purple. I think a lot of people did this with black thinking everything matches, or you could decide I’m only going to wear corduroy. If you were in the seventies. Anyway, there’s a lot of you you pick an element and say, this is my thing. But I the creative element for me is really it’s not just about I work in banking. So I’m only gonna wear crisp fabrics because that communicates authority and power, and that’s what I want everyone to think about me. The bit about the signature look starts with your personality. It starts with, How do you wanna feel? How do you wanna feel? You can say, what do you want other people to think about you, but how do you wanna feel? And maybe part of that, you’re talking about conserving energy.

Tammy Parrish [00:17:31]:
Maybe you want to you want more calm in your life. Right? You want more tranquility and calm. So my first thought goes back to the colors. Certain colors are getting us excited. Like they’re not calming colors. Like, a fire engine red is not a calming color, but there’s all kinds of other elements to to think about. Just quickly back to your thing about detail versus big picture. When I’m creating a signature look for someone, I’m taking all these different elements, like the personality, the goals, how someone feels, and translating that into the physical stuff that you hang on your body.

Tammy Parrish [00:18:13]:
So that part of it is creative, but then in the actual execution and what I’m teaching people because I come up with this look for them, which they then have to carry on, carry forward. And at some point, I’m shopping for them in this initial phase, but at some point, they’re gonna be shopping for themselves. So just teaching what are some shortcuts? What are some things that work for you? And it could be garment details. Right? Like, you you could say, based on the fact I would take I’ll use myself as an example. I have short legs. I would like the look of longer legs. Okay. I also have quite a large derriere.

Tammy Parrish [00:18:55]:
So in order to balance that out, the bottom of my pants would be wider. So basically what I’m saying is I would know this is the pant shape that I think is the best for me. And I’m very being very careful with my words because I don’t believe in the whole bodies or fruits. And you have to this whole patriarchal idea that you basically have to, a woman has to make her body look at an hourglass. That’s a lot of this, a lot of this image consulting and styling is rooted in that. But once I know this is the shape of pants that I like the best. When I look in the mirror, I’m like, oh, yeah, I look good. I like this.

Tammy Parrish [00:19:40]:
So that and I’m gonna I’m gonna default to that. I know what that is and it saves me time. I’m not gonna go try on 4 other styles of pants. I’m never gonna wear a crop pant because I don’t like the way it looks on me. Period. Done. And then having this in a document, like a visual reference and, For me, words are also important. So I wanna know in words and in pictures.

Tammy Parrish [00:20:05]:
Yes and no. And then another aid in my field is the virtual closet. So having your, the contents of your closet.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:20:16]:
So you’ve got words And images, yes and no. So could you give me an example of a word? Am I thinking, like, bell bottom or, like, pencil skirt? Yes. No. Is that kinda like the word or the image I’m thinking of, or is it something else, like bright red next to my face? No.

Tammy Parrish [00:20:32]:
Well, the in the color section, there’s a whole it’s a big document, and we’re talking about all these different elements of style and what works best for the client. So, Yes. I would in the colors, I would say show examples. Muted colors are gonna look best next to your skin based on the undertone, based on the contrast between your eyes, you’re scanning your hair, etcetera. So If I’m with someone physically, which doesn’t always happen because I work a lot online, but if I’m not with the client, I’m they’re making but it was right. And so it’s also very helpful to see these photos side by side. Maybe if you try on a bright orange sweater, And then next to that, you try on a bright fuchsia sweater. You will see a difference in what happens to your face based on the way the light is reflecting off of that color up onto your face.

Tammy Parrish [00:21:29]:
So I do like to show that whether I’m making the photos or the client’s making the photos, because it’s something we dress based on feeling. Right? Like, maybe orange looks horrible on me, but I love it. But then I know it’s not my best color because if I wear that next to my face, my skin looks green. So why don’t I wear orange pants instead or wear an orange belt or orange shoes? Or maybe I wear an orange shirt, but I just don’t wear it when I have a video presentation because all the focus is gonna be on my face. So all these, There’s all these tricks and things about your image that you can, once you’ve learned them, You’re not wasting time wondering, is this going to give me the effect I want? Am I going to feel good if I put this on? Because you’ve either experimented yourself or you’ve had a professional say, Hey, yes and no, and this is why.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:22:30]:
Okay. So when we’re thinking about clothing and energy savings, in many ways, it’s about removing decision fatigue.

Tammy Parrish [00:22:38]:
Yes. Well said.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:22:41]:
And if you know and talking about the details versus the big picture, you could also say, okay, if I understand in general, the feeling that I wanna create both in myself or maybe to others, then I can start to understand which clothes fit in those categories. How I want to show up in colors or styles, and then continue to move in that direction.

Tammy Parrish [00:23:04]:
Yes. Thank you for summarizing it.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:23:09]:
So people wanna start playing with these ideas at home already. Is there any many experiments that we can start to do or play with? How do we dip our toe in a wonderful world of creating our own signature look, especially if you’re someone like me who waves in a hoodie with a jacket on it every day?

Tammy Parrish [00:23:30]:
Well, the first thing you do, because most of us have quite a few clothes in our closets and drawers that we are not wearing.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:23:40]:
Why do you think we’re not wearing them?

Tammy Parrish [00:23:42]:
Well, that’s what I’m gonna give as an as a mini experiment, just to Pull those things out, dust them off. And if you lay them side by side, Right? If you laid them out on your bed side by side, you might start to see some patterns and then you get to you start to get to the answer of why am I not wearing these. Maybe you have maybe you just have 10 of the same thing, and it’s just You always gravitate towards the same one because the fit is slightly better. Or maybe and this happens. I see this quite a lot of clients where they tend to keep buying the same things and then not wearing them. So it’s not only about figuring out why do I keep buying tops to the sequence on them and then not wearing them. But it’s about what do those sequence signify? What does the meaning of the What, why am I attracted? What is it about the sequin that makes me want to buy it and not only want to, but actually buy it? And then why am I not wearing it? So there’s actually a whole field of fashion psychology delves into these issues. But for instance, I can say, because I did have a chocolate sequence on it, then I finally gave away because I was worried.

Tammy Parrish [00:25:01]:
So what did I like about it? I liked it was fun. It was fun. It was colorful. It was playful, but the style was not representing me in the way I wanted to be represented. So when I put it on, I thought this I don’t like the way I look in this. I’m self conscious. I don’t think it highlights my best features that I wanna show off. And I felt like it was something I felt like I looked like I was trying to dress 15 years younger than I am, which again, you could say, Tammy, go to a psychologist and work on that.

Tammy Parrish [00:25:38]:
But I just I didn’t feel comfortable in it. So I thought, okay, so I’m not gonna buy sequins tank tops anymore.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:25:44]:
Okay. So we take the stuff that we’re not wearing out of the closet. We lay it on the bed. We think about what patterns Are we seeing in this, and what can I learn from it? Then what do I do? What does that tell what do I do with that data now?

Tammy Parrish [00:26:00]:
Yeah. I’m a visual person, so I would take photos of that and I would actually then also label the photos. In in my case, I would upload it into my virtual closet. So then I would have sections where it sort of doesn’t fit, don’t like the fabric, etcetera, because I think it’s easy. You do the ex you do the exercise and you say, okay, I determined this, but then it’s easy to forget that. So to me to have that visual reminder of good and bad, like these are the things I like that I want to take forward, and these are the things that I don’t want to repeat and something like a virtual closet. And there are free apps out there for this as well. So you could digitize your entire closet.

Tammy Parrish [00:26:43]:
You have that on your phone, and next time you’re in a store and you’re tempted to buy something, for whatever reason, you can look at that, look at your closet on your phone and decide, can I make at least 3 outfits with this? Do I already have it hanging in my closet? So I think the visuals are important or if you’re a words person, you can just type up the list of yes and no. That makes sense.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:27:11]:
Yeah. I can see it. Like now you’ve got a, almost like a, a cheat sheet of style that’s your personal style, your signature look that you’re beginning to build based on what’s working, but also what’s not working for you. And I think that’s very relatable. Yeah. And some people, if you don’t wanna get to

Tammy Parrish [00:27:29]:
think, okay, Tammy, I would like to spend less time getting dressed in the morning. However, I’m not going to psychoanalyze my wardrobe, but it could be something as simple as Pinterest, right? So you have a Pinterest board and if you are then, and I think a lot of women now is find themselves shopping when they’re traveling because if they’re especially on a business trip, they have a few minutes, they get to the airport an hour early, they have an extra half an hour here and they pop into a shop, and Also, when you’re traveling, it’s, everything looks more attractive. Right? Like, oh, it’s a souvenir. Anyhow, you could look at your Pinterest or it and say, this thing that I’m thinking about buying, does that fit? Does it fit visually with this Pinterest board? Is this really the look that I feel good in or is it was it beautiful because you’re in some exotic location and you are tempted, but you know actually back home gonna wear it because it’s not really you. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:28:29]:
Lots of good things to play with and think about. If people wanna learn more about you or what you do or signature looks, where can they find out more about you?

Tammy Parrish [00:28:40]:
Well, I actually, in my own business called The Clothing Compass, I call it a 4 part system. So the first thing I’m doing is editing what you already have. We are editing, styling. So let’s make more out of less in your closet. Let’s make more out of what you already have and let’s make new fits. So I’ll do that also in the virtual closet. The next phase is planning. So based on what you have, your edited closets, you’ve got all these new outfits.

Tammy Parrish [00:29:13]:
If you still feel like you’re missing something, that’s when we make a plan. Okay. What is really missing? What is the bare minimum that you need to fill in your existing wardrobe so that you can make even more outfits? Planning to buy. The last step is shopping. So I think we’re all consuming too much, pretty much all of us, myself included. So I would like to see women buying less clothing and definitely less of no fast fashion, these ridiculously low priced items. So once you have a plan, the buying part is less frequent and there is less of it. So I do personal shopping for clients and that’s also takes place in this virtual closet.

Tammy Parrish [00:29:56]:
So That’s all on clothing, compass.com and create your signature look is its own website. Create your signature.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:30:09]:
Wonderful. Thank you. I’ll be sure to include those in the show notes. So To wrap up today’s conversation, I’m gonna ask you the same 5 questions that I ask all of

Tammy Parrish [00:30:19]:
my guests. Are you ready? Is it time? No kidding.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:30:25]:
It should be. It could be. So Cut. Tammy, what is your definition of wellness?

Tammy Parrish [00:30:33]:
The first thing that comes to mind is mental health. So mental and physical health,

Evelyn Pacitti [00:30:40]:
where, what is health? What does it feel like? What is it?

Tammy Parrish [00:30:44]:
Yeah, I guess what, Where my brain goes is that it’s one of these overused buzzwords. So, yeah, when I hear wellness, I find a little, a little resistance, like I need to hear more. Like, I need to have it explained so that I don’t push it in the gray area category in my mind.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:31:03]:
Yeah. And that’s why I’m poking a bit because one of the reasons I asked this question is because it’s such a nebulous word that I wanna get a broader definition of what wellness means to people specifically and how does it show up in their lives? So that’s why I asked the question, and I’m poking a bit of, what does wellness really mean for you? What is your definition of wellness? When do you know that you are well?

Tammy Parrish [00:31:31]:
Yeah. Yeah. I would never use the word unfortunately because of all the stigmas around it in my in my for me.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:31:38]:
But you would use hell.

Tammy Parrish [00:31:41]:
Yeah. Health feels less new age y. Yeah. And what’s healthy? What’s healthy? I think, For me, the mental health is actually more important than the physical health for whatever reason. And I think mental health means that I’m in a really positive headspace where I’m not doing, like, self sabotaging and having a lot of negative thoughts and overthinking things and Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. And phys what does physical health mean? Yeah.

Tammy Parrish [00:32:18]:
To me, physical health is about mobility and feeling like I’m eating well and getting enough, having enough movement in my life. Thank you. Thank you

Evelyn Pacitti [00:32:32]:
for taking the moment to dig into wellness. What is your favorite method to recharge during the workday?

Tammy Parrish [00:32:39]:
Go outside and walk. Do you

Evelyn Pacitti [00:32:43]:
need a long walk, a short walk, or is it just enough?

Tammy Parrish [00:32:48]:
Ideally, I would take a long walk. And I do like listening to, for instance, podcasts while I’m walking, but I have mixed feelings about that. I think it’s really, I think the best thing is for me is walk without any extra simulations. So just walking, no electronic devices. And this challenge for me is that I’m full of ideas, and I like the ideas that don’t ever stop coming. But when I’m then out in nature with no podcast, the ideas come even faster. So then I feel compelled to write them down. So then I’ve got my phone out, writing all the ideas down.

Tammy Parrish [00:33:26]:
And then I, and then the way to get it well, it doesn’t even really help, but I try to focus on the nature, like literally like, look at that bird, look at those trees. Isn’t that a cool flower? Trying to be very present and really see what I’m looking at.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:33:45]:
Okay. If you can master 1 skill instantly, what would it be?

Tammy Parrish [00:33:50]:
The word that just popped into my head, so I’m just gonna say it even though I think, what? Is sailing. I would like to be able to sail, but I will never invest the time needed to learn it. So for some reason, maybe because I’m living in the Netherlands, that’s what popped into my head.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:07]:
What are you geeking out about right now?

Tammy Parrish [00:34:11]:
Mailchimp. It’s a Mailchimp.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:16]:
Email newsletter service?

Tammy Parrish [00:34:19]:
Yes. Yeah, exactly. Trying to figure out how to better use Mailchimp. That’s my, That’s

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:25]:
my, you’re enjoying this geeking out. It’s more about, I like to,

Tammy Parrish [00:34:31]:
what’s the word? I’d like to succeed. So then I feel like it’s like an accomplishment that, Oh, I figured it out. I did it.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:41]:
If you were in a world where you had achieved your optimal work life blend, can you describe a typical day for me?

Tammy Parrish [00:34:50]:
Oh, yeah. I did this exercise not too long ago, and it was is it has to be an average day?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:35:01]:
Yeah. Like a Wednesday or Tuesday, like middle of the week, Just run of the mill.

Tammy Parrish [00:35:08]:
Yes. So I would in the morning. So breakfast with the family. And then when everyone left, I would exercise. So but that would be on the clock, let’s say like during work and working hours. So like around 9 o’clock and exercise, get ready for work, have a concentrated work session, like 50 minutes, and then,

Evelyn Pacitti [00:35:37]:
break

Tammy Parrish [00:35:37]:
in for lunch, go for a walk, and then have an afternoon where I was there with the clients or doing stuff on the computer working, right. Having the concentrated work couple hours. And then, yeah, ideally, I would stop without feeling guilty around 4:30 and start making dinner.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:36:05]:
So I have an evil question, but I’m gonna ask it anyway. So if this is your ideal day, why do you feel guilty about stopping? Why wouldn’t you continue and have dinner magically arrive?

Tammy Parrish [00:36:19]:
Why would I feel guilty if it were ideal? Yeah. Yeah. No. I think that would be right. The the per yeah. On the perfect day, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. You’re right. Maybe that’s the trick because you could also say, well, Timmy, why are you doing that now? Energy work for yourself, make it happen.

Tammy Parrish [00:36:38]:
Yeah. The guilt piece is big.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:36:44]:
Yeah. So as we wrap up today’s conversation, is there anything that you want the audience to take away from our discussion today?

Tammy Parrish [00:36:54]:
I think that there’s this whole image thing. How we look is- can be a big part of self expression, which I think is very empowering and there’s a lot of power in that. So I think maybe for people who haven’t thought much about that to think if there is a way to use your image to boost self esteem boost confidence, which is also gonna give you more positive energy. Right? And then also to think about it, are there ways to streamline that piece for anyone who feels like they’re spending too much time figuring out what to wear, for instance, are there ways to streamline that to reduce the amount of energy that’s flowing out? And there’s all kinds of and tricks for this. And I always say I’m still in that imitation as the sincerest form of flattery. You don’t have to figure it out yourself. Right? You can outsource it, but you can also just look around and copy other people’s

Evelyn Pacitti [00:38:07]:
shortcuts. Intrigued or inspired by today’s episode, but forgot the details? Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Visit engineering serenity.com for a complete summary of today’s episode, including time stamps links and other resources for your adventure. Wishing you strength and serenity. Evelyn