Finding Peace

Episode summary:

• [00:01:16] Getting to Know Stephanie Hall
• [00:07:38] A Spark led Life
• [00:13:52] Definition of Boundaries & Safe Spaces
• [00:16:44] Boundaries & Family
• [00:23:50] How She Found Peace
• [00:30:19] Healing from Physical & Emotional Pain
• [00:31:00] reference: Dr. Gabor Mate

• [00:37:45] Stephanie’s Process of Finding Peace
• [00:38:28] Step 1: Spiritual
• [00:40:15] Step 2: Physical & Food
• [00:42:08] reference: FODMAP
• [00:43:45] Step 3: Emotional & Nervous System Healing
• [00:50:35] Step 4: Mental
• [00:52:58] Mini-Experiment: Do Not Disturb

• [00:56:11] Final Five
• [00:56:22] Definition of Serenity
• [00:56:56] Master 1 Skill
• [00:58:14] Recharge Method
• [01:00:30] Geeking Out
• [01:02:22] Ideal Day
• [01:05:29] Take Away

Listen to the full episode

Meet our guest, Stephanie Hall

Stephanie Hall is a mental health advocate, activist and speaker. From sufferer to survivor turned activist, she advocates and serves for the healing, survival and empowerment of others. Her mission is to break the stigma surrounding mental illness and to ELIMINATE the mental health crisis.

Founder of iShine Period, Founder/CEO of iShine iRock LLC, Host of The Mental Health Slayer Podcast

Learn more about Stephanies’s work on her site at http://ishineperiod.com/ and https://beacons.ai/ishineirockce

transcript

transcript created by Castmagic AI, may include errors

Stephanie Hall [00:00:00]:
If I sat here doing what society tell me, I would’ve still been in survival mode, still trying to become a service desk manager someday. That’s not who I’m supposed to be. Supposed to be. I’m supposed to be a mental health speaker. I’m supposed to be an activist. I’m supposed to be out here changing things. You have to conquer that fear to conquer the anxiety. And once you conquer that anxiety, your mind is just that will free yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, and you start achieving that peace.

Stephanie Hall [00:00:30]:
So, yeah, it’s a lot.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:00:34]:
Are you ready to reclaim your life from exhaustion and expand the possibilities of what life can be? If so, I’m your guide, Evelyn Pacitti, work life geek and engineer turned resiliency coach on a mission to redefine how we work, live, and utilize our energy. Each episode, I dig deep with my guests as they share their stories, spark, and strategies for developing our own unique work life play. This is Engineering Serenity. Episode 11, Finding Peace with Stephanie Hall.

Stephanie Hall [00:01:08]:
Thank you for having me today. I am so honored and blessed and favorite just to be here today. Thank you.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:16]:
Yay. So to get started, I’ll just ask you a few basic questions. What is your full name and pronouns?

Stephanie Hall [00:01:22]:
My full name is Stephanie Michelle Hall. My pronouns are she and she.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:30]:
What is your age is?

Stephanie Hall [00:01:31]:
I am 39 years old.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:34]:
What is your career or industry that you work in?

Stephanie Hall [00:01:37]:
So as a trade,

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:38]:
I am in the IT industry.

Stephanie Hall [00:01:38]:
I am application support technician. As my huge profession, I am a mentor, life coach, and mental health activist.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:51]:
How many hours do you typically work per week?

Stephanie Hall [00:01:53]:
Jeez. Probably too much than a normal American should, but that’s normal for us. Right? But I dedicate 40 hours a week from my normal job and at least probably 2 big 3, maybe 5 hours a day working on that. Like, really depends.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:10]:
Wow. Do you like your career?

Stephanie Hall [00:02:14]:
I do. I like both. Eric, for the first time in my life, I can actually say that.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:21]:
Oh, that’s great. On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you say your work life balance is today? Where 5 is very balanced and one is up, maybe not?

Stephanie Hall [00:02:31]:
I’m gonna say, to be fair, I’m probably out of 4. I’m still working on it. I developed some strategies in regards to balancing my life in general. So at first I had to start with my regular life, how to balance myself and my kids. And then I went from personal time to work. So it’s a process still. Right? So, yeah, I’m still working.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:56]:
Oh, but the fact that you’ve already got a a full time day job and you’re doing the side hustle and you have a family and you feel like you’re already at a work life blend of a 4, I feel it’s really inspirational to start with. Yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:03:07]:
I definitely took a lot of work. For me to be at my big age of 30, I would have thought that this is something I could’ve done sooner in life. Right? But learning the healing tactics that I learned at this day and age, it just it’s divine timing. Right. And, it put me in a space where not only can I teach myself, but I’ve been able to teach others this? Yeah. Life is about learning. It’s a huge learning experience. We don’t want to trample on ourselves or be hard on ourselves about not having everything right.

Stephanie Hall [00:03:39]:
I wasn’t always here, and I’m just glad that I am now. But yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:03:45]:
Where do you live?

Stephanie Hall [00:03:47]:
I live in Durham, North Carolina, which is on the East Coast of the United States.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:03:54]:
What culture were you raised in?

Stephanie Hall [00:03:56]:
I am black, African American, whatever you wanna call it, but I am actually looking to my ancestry, and I know a few things. And I’m going to dive more deeper into that because that’s given me a lot of revelation about my identity, who I am as a person. So yeah. Describe your household. Okay. My household. So it’s me and my girls. I have 2 beautiful daughters.

Stephanie Hall [00:04:24]:
My oldest is 14 and she’s in 9th grade. My youngest is sick and, I homeschool her currently. She’s just messing on nice little cute little apartment right now. That life here is is simple. It’s peaceful. It took a lot of work for me to establish that serenity within my home, but it’s a safe space for me and my children, and that’s what bothers to me the most right now.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:55]:
I think that’s something we can all strive for.

Stephanie Hall [00:04:57]:
Yes. It’s necessary. Right? You think about everything that’s going on in the world right now. The Shane, times the only thing I wanna do is go home. Yeah. Because I know when I go there, nothing can bother me there. I could put my phone on do not serve, and I don’t have to worry about anyone texting or calling me, or the fact that I have boundaries established and I don’t have to respond to you. You’re not done yet today.

Stephanie Hall [00:05:19]:
Hey, I can call you tomorrow.

Stephanie Hall [00:05:22]:
So it’s that type of

Stephanie Hall [00:05:25]:
piece. And that’s very important, especially when you’re someone that’s recovering from mental health or even in the mental health space. You have to have those things established. And I’ve worked hard to do that. I work hard to maintain it until it’s very necessary. Do you have any hobbies? I do. I used to write poetry when I was little, and it’s weird because it’s coming back up. But instead of it being more poetry, it’s more just deep theoretical words and knowledge that’s coming out of the loose side of the spirit realms and dimensions.

Stephanie Hall [00:06:02]:
Right? And I’m like, wow. I never thought that I was this insightful, but I love writing. I’m looking at writing stuff. I was like, oh my goodness. But I love writing. It gives me this. So I think how I really came into it more was when I learned to journal during my healing journey, and that just took it to another level. So now I will just write about things that’s on my mind, heart, and it just comes out.

Stephanie Hall [00:06:29]:
I’m very crafty. Sorry. It’s c part c. Right? And I love doing things where and this may not sound like a hobby, but I love walking. Walking had become a hobby for me. I love it though. I enjoy it being in the nature, meditating, become a hobby for me too. It seemed like a chore at first, but now it’s a, I love to do it right.

Stephanie Hall [00:06:53]:
I’m a Kenneth heart, So I love doing anything that’s fun. Going skating with the kids, taking them to the park. Actually traveling now is a new hobby for me. And like I said, at my big age of 39, I’m just really starting to travel on my own, but it’s beautiful to actually see the world and what’s out there.

Stephanie Hall [00:07:16]:
So I like to do a lot of

Stephanie Hall [00:07:17]:
things, but that’s just a few of them. Oh, thank you.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:07:21]:
You. You’ve mentioned a bit of your journey of setting up boundaries. You have this work life blend that enables you to do your work, have your family. Also exploring the mental health profession that you’re expanding into. So whatever you’re really excited about right now, where is your spark leading you?

Stephanie Hall [00:07:42]:
My spark it’s interesting that you say that because it keeps going right back to how I felt when I started 3 years ago. I had this huge passion of helping others. And what gives me joy is knowing that I actually have something to do to give back someone else, whether it’s an encouraging word or I may be walking on the street and the stuff that tells me they need a hug. Let me give them a hug. Or even I have some events that I’m doing next month where I’m actually going out in the to the community and helping others with their organization and their outreach event. Having to learn the balance, the boundaries is what keeps a humanitarian’s heart. Sure. It keeps it intact mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Stephanie Hall [00:08:39]:
Right. And to make sure that you’re not trampled by the wrong things and the right people, it’s best to keep those in place. And since I’ve done that, I can hold on to the fact that I love helping others. And I just don’t allow anything or anyone to take that away from me. I’m still going to help who I’m willing to help. When I go online and I speak, whether I’m just online personal podcast or I go on and just do live messages and tell people, Hey, I’m dealing with this today. Let’s have a moment of transparency. Just knowing that something I said today will help someone because I was when my audience engages with me.

Stephanie Hall [00:09:17]:
Right? And they’re like, hey. Yeah. I understand. I went through that. I get those DMs and text every now and then. Hey, Stephanie. I really appreciated what you said today. I really needed to hear that.

Stephanie Hall [00:09:28]:
And that is what continues to fuel and light my spark. It’s quite amazing, honestly.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:09:37]:
So doing the humanitarian work, how did you find the boundaries? Did you always have these boundaries in place, or are they something that you’ve developed over the time period? Where did they come from, and what are they?

Stephanie Hall [00:09:47]:
Tell you something. I never knew boundaries existed. And I find a small minded person. I violated. I found out about it. Right? Are you serious? It’s I found out about this powerful word 3 years ago when I really started hearing deeply. I had a team of therapists. It was about 3 or 4 of them.

Stephanie Hall [00:10:11]:
Each one of them were therapists, but they were also specialized in different areas. One was substance abuse. 1 was addiction. Addiction. 1 was actually one of my therapists actually spoke to me spiritually. 1 of my therapists actually spoke to me from the business and broke me asking, hey. You need to get on top of your finance. You need a budget, this and that.

Stephanie Hall [00:10:31]:
Right? They told me about this wonderful word called boundaries and that. What? So this always existed and you guys just decided you wanted to gatekeep it. That’s how I felt. Right? I would validate my feelings at first. I’m like, oh, no. That’s serious. And when I came into it, it was the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I have no idea where the thought process came from, where we are obligated to do things for other people, places, and things first before ourselves.

Stephanie Hall [00:11:11]:
I have no idea where that came from. And wherever it came from, I hope it goes back to where it came from. Right? Because it should never existed. I’m a huge advocate for self care. I tell people all the time, you have to take care of yourself first before you can even take care of your children before you’re able to take care of your husband before you’re able to go to that job every day. And I learned these things the hard way. I lost so many jobs in the past because I was sick for a long time. I was being treated for a lot of different things and that being did what they could and couldn’t do, but I lost a lot of jobs because I wasn’t productive enough.

Stephanie Hall [00:11:51]:
I had pains in my body so bad where I couldn’t even stand up for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. When I learned this thing, I was like, oh, and I used it to my advantage. Right? And I said, let me start with assessing. Okay, Stephanie. Who comes first? Prioritize yourself. You. You have a lot of people that would tell you are selfish. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve told them that.

Stephanie Hall [00:12:17]:
I don’t care anymore. I don’t care for anymore because somebody is happy and healthy because she has became selfish. Right?

Stephanie Hall [00:12:28]:
I’m sorry if it makes

Stephanie Hall [00:12:29]:
you feel some type of way. There’s probably something you need to hear within yourself. Right? But when I incorporate boundaries, started taking care of myself first, putting myself first, I obtained jobs where I went to work every day. Any job that I don’t have anymore, especially within the last 3 years or jobs that I decided to quit for whatever reason. Right? Pretty much everything that is in regards to me and my life is in con in my control. And that’s the best thing about boundaries. When you also keep those boundaries intact and you’re especially when you’re in healing space, you can’t allow certain energies or people, places, and things to come into your space. Right? Your safe space that you’ve established incorporated.

Stephanie Hall [00:13:20]:
Right? Because what happens is that they may be dealing with something that you’re healing from or already healed from. And what happens when you encounter those things? It takes you back to dark places and spaces mentally mentally, physically, and emotionally. Right? And who wants to do that? We’re in a world where we’re breaking cursings and we’re breaking cycle, not repeating them. So boundaries is a gold it’s not the it’s like the golden ticket from what will we want for. Right?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:13:52]:
So what is a boundary for you? Because that’s a term we use it all the time, but it’s hard to nail down in a lot of ways. So I’d love to know your definition of boundaries.

Stephanie Hall [00:14:03]:
My definition of boundaries is let me let me start by saying this. And I and I looked at this today because I always go back and look at my stuff. Right. I wrote a message a few months ago. My, my last therapist, I had a session with her and we were talking about safe spaces and stuff. And I was telling her what was going on with me currently. And she said, do you know why you feel that way? And it’s like a light bulb went off in my head. And I was like, yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:14:26]:
I was like, even though I create safe spaces for others, a safe space has never been created for me. And when I think about everything that I went through, especially mentally and emotionally, creating my safe space and keeping it and maintaining it is one of the most important things. So my main boundary is I do not allow any person, place, fee, entity. I don’t care what it is to enter that safe space that I’ve created, especially if you have ill intentions. Right? A boundary is If I could explain it maybe in a physical term, it’s like creating a fence around you. Right? That fence is saying, hey. And I tell people this all the time. You, the only thing that you control in your life are your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Stephanie Hall [00:15:29]:
You can’t control nothing or anyone else outside of that. Right? So inside this fence that I’ve created, this is where my control lie. It lies with me being able to make sure that and I don’t think of controlling in a bad business, but it keeps me safe. It keeps me protected. It’s like the Bible says, guard your heart. Right? I guard my heart. My spirit is guarded here. My energy is protected.

Stephanie Hall [00:15:58]:
Even as me having a big heart and being spiritually gifted, I can’t allow anything or anyone to have access to my energy. So, yeah, if I was to explain boundaries in that way and manner, I would say it’s just having that fence around you and you have the power or the control to say who comes in and out of that fence. If we’re in a space where we’re healing, you can’t allow something that hurts you before to come back inside of that fence. Right? Because then, no wonder where are

Evelyn Pacitti [00:16:30]:
you gonna get that thing out

Stephanie Hall [00:16:31]:
of there? It’s easier to keep something out than allowing it back in because kind of already you gotta push it back out. You might have to push it back out. And depending on who and what you’re dealing with, that’s not an easy task. I have a prime example about that a few months ago, and I actually thought about doing this 2 years ago. When I started healing, I decided I was gonna eliminate my family out of my life. I realized that they’re toxic people. They’re people. Who I have to blame? Nothing and no Generation pain and trauma being passed down.

Stephanie Hall [00:17:17]:
And I just said, I’m not advocating for that anymore. I’m definitely not living my life in that manner. Only reason why I held on is because I too I had therapists saying, oh, no. You gotta give them a chance. Do this and do that. And 6 months ago, I realized I wanted to heal and keep healing, but they didn’t wanna heal with me. And that’s okay. I held on that to that pain too for a little bit because having such a big heart, you’re like, I actually really care for y’all.

Stephanie Hall [00:17:47]:
I really love y’all despite the fact that I talk to y’all every day. And that that will never change. Right. But 6 months ago, I real I realized that, and it was a slap in the face. And I said, you know what? You realize that? I just I realized that they weren’t gonna change. They weren’t going to change. Okay. And when you’re in that healing space, you’re wanting better for yourself.

Stephanie Hall [00:18:09]:
I told her 5 or 2 years ago. I said, dad, I don’t know how to be happy. I was like, wow. You know? It’d be happy. Crazy when you come to realizations like that. Right? So the more I kept feeling, I was going to my family, especially my parents, and I was telling them, hey. I wanna talk to you about these things that happened in the past. I just wanted you to be accountable.

Stephanie Hall [00:18:36]:
I don’t even I’m not even asking for an apology. I’m just asking you to hold yourself accountable what happened and what I saw as a child. I’m like, hey. It’s funny he only get through this. My father told me about a year ago, which was the last time I talked to him. He said, Stephanie, we just keep going in circles with you about this. And when he said that to me, my heart sunk. I’m like, okay.

Stephanie Hall [00:18:57]:
So basically you’re coming to me and making it sound like I’m a burden because I’m healing and because I want you to heal with me. And I was okay. And he said on top of it, I hope you can find your peace. I was like, you know what? I cried while I was talking to him in the charge. That’s what I told her. This is why I was talking to him, and I was like, you know what? At after that moment, I said, you know what? I am gonna find my peace, and I’m gonna find true peace. Right? My peace came with me not being associated with them anymore because they’re just in a space that I’m no longer in. Right? And it’s too painful when you think about the things that have happened.

Stephanie Hall [00:19:40]:
And for me, I’m a person that needs to talk things out. Right now, I journal it out and, hey, if you saw my journal, you’d be like, what in the world, girl?

Stephanie Hall [00:19:50]:
I got everything out that I couldn’t say to people. I’m telling you, I’m cussing the peep cussing and fussing people out to the high heavens, but I felt so much better. Right? But they don’t wanna have these conversations with me. And even if I did I

Stephanie Hall [00:20:07]:
don’t think that they’re emotionally intelligent or mature enough to handle hearing the truth and being able to stay calm without it. Right? When I came to this realization 6 months ago, I just I cut everybody out, change my number again for the final time, stuff like that. A week ago, my mother decided to come back around, and I knew something was up, and I was like, okay. I talked to her 2 days. I got triggered quickly after that. I spoke with someone that I’m actually interviewing Friday, and, he’s a grief coach. And I said, she’s still talking to me like I’m the savior of the family. And, unfortunately, that is a narcissistic trait.

Stephanie Hall [00:20:52]:
It’s a narcissistic trait, and it’s passed down to family, whether we believe it or not. When I learned about narcissism, what’s the pose of it, I was like, just stop it. It made a lot of sense, and I acknowledge that I was a low grade borderline narcissist at one point, but not on a high level as, you know, people that I’ve dealt with. But I said that I refuse to be like that, and I have such a big heart that helps people. How in the world can you have on their 6 spirit and operate like that? And I sent her this hard message, and I told her, I I’m sorry, but I don’t wish to have a relationship with you. I told her that you have not been the mother that I need you to be. You have never been capable of being the mom that I need you to be. My mom is on drugs for a long time.

Stephanie Hall [00:21:44]:
A long time. And I can only remember me having the most of her probably within the last 15 years of my life. The problem is that I’m already grown. I’m already adult. Yeah. There’s not much that can be done or said. But because of her past and things that have happened, she operates in a very controlling spirit. I can’t deal with that.

Stephanie Hall [00:22:04]:
It it tried to stop me from moving on with my wife. It tried to stop me from pursuing things and because that operates out of fear, I cannot operate out of fear if I wanna do what I’ve called to do. Right. But anyway, in a nutshell, I told her that, and I told her I said, I will never be able to get closure from the things that I’ve tried to heal from. Because you guys are still talking to me about problems and stuff that y’all actually can go heal from. Right? I don’t care to hear it, and it’s not gonna be me. You just get to that point where you’re like, hey. I’m actually healing.

Stephanie Hall [00:22:38]:
I’m actually making change. I’m gonna go see a therapist. I’m gonna check that pride, and I’m gonna go talk to somebody. I’m not sitting here and being afraid to not live in. And I cried off and on that whole day when I was sending this to her. I don’t want people to think I’m inhumane because I want my parents. I desire to have that relationship with my parents, but it just got to a point I realized they’re not capable of being who I needed to be. That’s a boundary too, guys.

Stephanie Hall [00:23:09]:
And guess what? That is okay. You have the right to say a school doesn’t doesn’t have access to you. Why would you go back to the pay? That’s exactly what we’ll tell her. I can’t go back to the pay. You guys are still sitting in pay. Yeah. I’m not. And pay.

Stephanie Hall [00:23:27]:
I may get some backlash for this. I don’t care either. Destiny is happy. Stephanie is healing, and Stephanie is becoming whole. So, yes, that was

Evelyn Pacitti [00:23:36]:
So that Yeah. So that answers my next question. You said 2 years ago, you had this conversation in the. I don’t know what it means to be happy. Yeah. And you were asked to find your peace and you just said you are happy. Yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:23:50]:
Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:23:51]:
How did you get that? What did that journey look like? What inspired that journey?

Stephanie Hall [00:23:55]:
I think when I was there in that moment and I said that to my father, that’s when it really hit. I had already been going through my first I had already went through my 1st year healing at this point. Right. Okay. And I was like, it was like a light bulb moment. I have those moments. It’s awesome. I was like, wow.

Stephanie Hall [00:24:17]:
You operate the way I’ve been operating in life. I thought I was happy. I thought I was happy. I was not happy. I was a high functioning adult. I was a high functioning anxious, depressed, suicidal adult. Even as a child, I was, I thought I was happy now. I can tell you, I remember some happy moments from my childhood, but the only thing I dislike about it is I remember more unhappy moment than happy moment.

Stephanie Hall [00:24:47]:
And that’s where the inbound comes in. Right? So when, like I said, when I had that moment and I said that was the light bulb moment, and I said, you know what? That’s when I dug into healing even deeper. Oh my goodness. It was not easy. It was not easy. I cried many night. I cried many days. I did a lot of journaling.

Stephanie Hall [00:25:11]:
I did a lot of therapy. I did a lot of self discovering. When you live in a society or a family or whatever, where you’re constantly being told who you are and what you’re supposed to do, you will never figure out who you really are. Right. And it’s creating that when we go through that journey of self discovery, you actually realize how unique and amazing you are. And I didn’t want to start a business for you all the time. I’ve had too many people telling me, Stephanie, you’re gifted in it. You should do it business.

Stephanie Hall [00:25:44]:
You should do this. You should do that. And I was like, no, it’s not unique enough. It’s not unique enough. And I’ve been saying that for years. It’s not enough. So when I went through that self discovery process, that’s when everything opened. And I said, oh, I found my niche.

Stephanie Hall [00:25:58]:
And your niche comes from my niche came from my actual faith, which is crazy. Right? But that healing was actually still happening. It’s still happening, and it’s going to continue to happen. And it looks like swollen eyes and crying. It looked like a bunch of tissues all over your bed and floor. It it looks like constantly calling a therapist on feet. I’ll be like, hey. I just need a moment.

Stephanie Hall [00:26:23]:
I just need to vent. It looks like having a stack of books that our journal says you just grabbing me like, Hey, I gotta write this out real quick. It looks like going online and just speaking your mind sometimes. It’s getting it out. However, you do it right. All I simply did, and even though it wasn’t simple is push out the pain. I pushed out the pain. The more I’ve pushed out the pain, the more I was able to embrace the happiness that actually always wide within me.

Stephanie Hall [00:26:55]:
And that mainly come from love of self. Love of self.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:27:01]:
Love of self. You make it sound so simple.

Stephanie Hall [00:27:06]:
And I I hate that sometimes because it has a reminding book. It’s not. It’s not simple. It is not easy. Please don’t

Stephanie Hall [00:27:16]:
look at me smiling right now and think that, oh, no, no. See, I’ve got plenty of videos, like I said, writings and stuff where I could show you, Hey, I mean, it was an ugly moment, but I have a really I have this one picture too that I actually just found a couple weeks ago where I actually documented my first suicide attempt when it first happened. I showed how it was healing after that and the tattoo I got to cover and what it looked like a little while after that. I had absolutely ugly moments. I could show you. But this is the beautiful part about it. It’s the unknown. Right? This is the unknown for me, and it’s beautiful.

Stephanie Hall [00:27:58]:
At the same time, though, Stephanie has a balance with herself. Right? Stephanie has her light and her dark. Then he knows when to go into that dark and go ahead and defeat and conquer all that mess and then come back and be like, hey. Here. I’m here. Great. You may not always see the dark, but it’s there. And I have no problem with being transparent and showing people that.

Stephanie Hall [00:28:20]:
So, yes, please guys, This is not easy. It is not easy, but it’s achievable. Right? It’s just a lot of hard work. Right.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:28:29]:
And you said I think it’s good to also set the expectations that this has been a 3 year journey

Stephanie Hall [00:28:35]:
that you’ve been on. It’s only been 3 years, and, unfortunately, I had to go a little quicker with this because of what I’m called to do. I’m actually called to teach others what how I heal. Right. And suppose I’m older, so I guess it was a little easier. I can be a little more disciplined. Right. But I have more healing to do.

Stephanie Hall [00:28:55]:
And I I can say that I am in a healed space only because, and I got this revelation spiritually. When you’re in a healed space, that means that you can take those triggers that come your way, and you can attack them head on because you have the tools to heal it. Right? I mean, you’ve gone through life, period. It’s a continuous journey. I’m gonna be doing this till the day I die. Right? But I’m gonna be happy doing it because I ain’t doing it right this time. Right? And, yeah, that’s the part, it was a part of my prayer to be whole, to become whole. And I’d like it’s not completely the way that I want it to be.

Stephanie Hall [00:29:46]:
Right? But it’s exactly where I need to be. And having this piece, especially mentally, is the most beautiful part aspect of the whole thing. And I’ve got a piece of it 2 years ago when I got a piece of it. I said, yeah, let me keep working and getting this piece. I’m telling you, it’s the main thing that keeps me going. Really is.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:30:19]:
That peace that you speak of, is it just a state of being that you feel? Is it a mental, like, dialogue? Can you tell me more about this piece?

Stephanie Hall [00:30:30]:
It’s all of that. It is all of that from a physical standpoint. It’s me being able to sit right here at my desk in my apartment and everything is steel. Everything is steel. The only thing that’s moving is life. Everything is still from a mental standpoint. It’s me not hearing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of others because, unfortunately, I have that gift. Crazy.

Stephanie Hall [00:31:02]:
Not hearing the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions of yourself. Right? Which is tied to personal shame, guilt, and regret. Right, from an emotional standpoint, not feeling the pain, not feeling the anguish, not feeling the physical pain anymore. Good gracious. I tell you that only came with the healing, and that healing happened more from a holistic perspective. Like I said before, I had I used to have nerve pain in my body so bad where I couldn’t stand more than 5 to 10 minutes. It started out with fibromyalgia, and then some years later, I found out that I actually had arthritis in my body and bursitis. And so when we found out, I was still doing pain management, and they got to a point that the pain management became painful.

Stephanie Hall [00:32:04]:
And I was like, oh, no. Can’t do this. Yeah. They stopped giving me anesthesia for pain procedures. Of course. You know what? Y’all know y’all can go through that. But anyway, that was just mean that was just cruel. But, that pain, I I walk vigorously every day.

Stephanie Hall [00:32:22]:
I meditate every day. I pray every day. This self care that I do helps for me and the healing. Right? Because who wants to constantly feel nerve pain? And a lot of that nerve pain, especially what they said was having out there, was actually past emotional pain and trauma.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:32:45]:
Manifesting physical.

Stephanie Hall [00:32:47]:
Girl, let me tell you something. I saw a holistic nutritionist 2 years ago. She lightened up my royalty. Thank you, girl. Hey, doctor Young. Shout out to you, girl. Anyway, she told me about doctor Gabor Mate. Doctor Gabor Mate is across the man.

Stephanie Hall [00:33:02]:
He talks about how past emotional pain and trauma manifest into physical pain in your body. So when you’re going to the doctor and you tell them, hey, I got this pain here. They do a test and they don’t see any physically, anything physically standing out to say or advocate for the fact that you had this or you had that. 2, 1 or 2 things is gonna happen. Hey. They’re gonna say you’re crazy. You may be mental, maybe put you in a mental institution depending on how bad it is. Right? Yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:33:30]:
It happened to me three times. And or them saying, Hey, it’s something made up, which a lot of these terms are made up. And, but when you really started digging deep into the foundation, realize, Hey, It was really just emotional trauma. And when I feel that it oh, a lot of that went away. A lot of it went away. And then all I had to do on top of it is unfortunately because I’m getting older and being a black woman, we have things that we’re culturally susceptible to hereditary wise. I go walking. I had became a vegan and I am done on it.

Stephanie Hall [00:34:07]:
That piece is multifaceted, but there are different methods that you have to do to achieve that piece, whether it’s mentally, physically, and emotionally. Keeping it. I think the anxiety was what was keeping my mental trapped the most, and you wouldn’t think the anxiety Interesting. Yeah. You wouldn’t think the anxiety would do that to you. Anxiety will cripple you.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:35]:
I’ve never considered anxiety to be the thing that’s keeping the negativity in, though.

Stephanie Hall [00:34:40]:
The reason why it keeps it in is because of fear. We’re scared to heal. Right? Because that’s the unknown. It’s I think about it and I tell people, this is what I do to stay present. I don’t go back and think about what happened yesterday. There’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t change it. Right? Right.

Stephanie Hall [00:35:03]:
I’m not gonna sit here and be worried about tomorrow. What am I gonna be worried about tomorrow? There’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I have in my power at this moment to even change that. Right? And so the best thing for me to do is just focus on right now. And the moment I tell myself that even me telling myself now, this piece just come over me and I’m like, so anxiety is something that has, yes, I’m blaming society for anxiety. I am because we have this hustle and bustle life and mentality, and, all it’s tied in with survival mode and struggle mentality. And then that’s a piece you in a victim mindset. But the only reason why a lot of people can’t conquer anxiety is the fear that’s behind it.

Stephanie Hall [00:35:53]:
You actually got to sit down and tell yourself, why am I feeling this fear? And it could be different things. It’s not just one thing We gotta say where’s the spirit coming from? Why am I feeling it? Is it because I’m scared to actually embrace being the best person I could actually be in life because I had people in my past telling me that I wasn’t anything. I would never be anything. I would never amount to be in anything, which at the end of the day, I’m gonna tell you is completely false. It is totally false, but that starts with believing in yourself first. And that comes with the self love that we were talking about. All of these things are like interconnected, believe it or not. Right.

Stephanie Hall [00:36:35]:
It’s like a huge puzzle. And when I broke my self mentally, which is what I I titled my book of,

Stephanie Hall [00:36:43]:
it’s me breaking myself free

Stephanie Hall [00:36:44]:
from what society telling me I I was supposed to do, who I’m supposed to look like, who I’m supposed to be when I grow up. Because me following everything that society has been telling me and teaching me to do and see is totally opposite than who I am now. Totally opposite. Now there might be a few little things here that I still held on to. Right? Right. It was always supposed to be a part of me. But if I sat here, slept on what society tell me, I would’ve still been in survival, still trying to become a service desk manager someday. That’s not who I’m supposed to be.

Stephanie Hall [00:37:20]:
Supposed to be. I’m supposed to be a mental health speaker. I’m supposed to be a activist. I’m supposed to be out here changing things. You have to conquer that fear to conquer the anxiety. And once you conquer that anxiety, your mind is just that will free yourself mentally, physically and emotionally, and you start achieving that peace. So, yeah, it’s a lot. Wow.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:37:46]:
And if people wanted to start exploring that and finding that piece of themselves wherever they are in their healing journey, can you give them some sort of like mini experiment that they could start to play with to either set boundaries, push out the pain, find that piece? Where could you start?

Stephanie Hall [00:38:05]:
Okay. So I actually created this. It’s actually part of my keynote message. It’s called how to heal your mental health. I created this whole system of how you heal your mental health guy. It’s a lot of work. It is a lot of work. System works.

Stephanie Hall [00:38:24]:
Okay? So my system starts out as number 1, spiritual or belief based. You have to get down to finding out actually who you are. A lot of us don’t know who we are. We don’t. And we’re sitting here and operating in jobs that you were not called to be in. Why? Because you’re sitting here and trying to be a nurse and you have no empathy. I’m just being real here. You tried to be a police officer, but you’re too busy popping up.

Stephanie Hall [00:38:57]:
No. You are in the wrong space. Okay? And who the heck you are first? That happens, like I said, through spiritual belief system. Whoever you you pray to or speak to, God, the universe is actually all the same thing. We just have different names for it. Right? I I tell people in their system, I just like you have something to believe in, but you kinda believe in something. Right? Go to your Howard password. Be like, reveal who I am to me.

Stephanie Hall [00:39:28]:
Go through that self discovery journey. That’s exactly what I did. And I’m telling you because of my spiritual gifts, you’re paying to me in a dream. And I was like, oh, and I saw it, but I also saw what I needed to conquer to get there. And I said, oh, this dream was dark, actually.

Stephanie Hall [00:39:50]:
But when I looked at it, it was. But when I broke some of the fear,

Stephanie Hall [00:39:55]:
it made me realize it was not good for me to be scared about it. Just fucking tell me the truth. Right? And so Yeah. I was like, okay. I did that. I had to go through the full hearing process. But after you find out who you are, after that, it’s just like, blank. You take and run with it.

Stephanie Hall [00:40:14]:
Yeah. Healing. I believe I said it’s the physical neck. The reason why I say physical neck is because there’s that theory called the mind gut connection. Right? If you have mental issues, the first thing you wanna start tackling is your gut. I’m gonna tell you why. 75 to 80% of your immune system is in your gut. The reason why a lot of us Americans are overweight and sick is because we’re not eating properly.

Stephanie Hall [00:40:44]:
That’s the main thing. You’re not eating properly and you’re not nourishing your body properly. Now what you have to do is you have to go through an assessment. This is why ancestry is very important. You need to really go find out your ancestry and everything about it. There are things that God told me about my ancestry that I haven’t done yet, but it helped me to understand the fact that I have native American. I have Chinese. I have European and African, traditional African.

Stephanie Hall [00:41:15]:
I didn’t even know the different regions, like 2 specific regions. But when I learned that, I said, oh, then I started learning what my body can actually intake. I’ve never been a person that can actually digest meat or gluten. Quite amazing. But I found that out when I started healing my body physically. Right? I eat that’s why I’m a be me personally. It’s because, hey, I have no pain in my body when I eat. Right? I also exercise.

Stephanie Hall [00:41:43]:
I have my own personal exercise routine because I’m still healing physically, and I have to take my time with it. I didn’t in the past and I used to hurt myself and be like, oh yeah. Now my muscle, I got a muscle strain. I’m out for 2 to 3 weeks. No. Take your time with it. Everybody’s body is different. It’s not been going through your ancestry, finding out what you’re actually supposed to eat and not eat.

Stephanie Hall [00:42:06]:
There’s also something called a FODMAP that you can do and do that along with your, knowing your environmental and food allergies. Put that along align that with the FODMAP, and that actually tells you what you can and cannot eat. And, yeah, believe it or not, it’s based off of the environmental allergies used to. There’s a bunch of tools here.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:42:26]:
A 5 map.

Stephanie Hall [00:42:27]:
5 map, f o b m a t. You could actually Google it. And I can send it to you, then you can send the people they ask. But my my holistic nutritionist told me about it. That being young was amazing. Hey, girl. And so she told me that because at the time, I couldn’t eat anything. I was thick as a dog.

Stephanie Hall [00:42:49]:
They thought I was having issues with my gallbladder. And I told her, I said, I can’t digest anything. I actually found out that I had something called SIBO, which small intestinal bowel obstruction, and that keeps you from having anything going through your small intestine, which mean they can’t go into your large intestine. It means they can’t pass through you. Right? I couldn’t even breathe sometimes because of the small intestinal issues. It’s it’s that serious. Yeah. So when you start healing yourself physically and you’re doing the diet proper diet, the proper exercise, you actually start getting a lot of mental clarity on top of it.

Stephanie Hall [00:43:27]:
So how

Evelyn Pacitti [00:43:27]:
does this relate to when you were talking about the, like, nerve issues you were having that were how does that tie you to physically with the healing since that’s

Stephanie Hall [00:43:36]:
a mental based in your physical? In my next portion, which is technically being emotional. Yes. So there’s a process. I, I promise you trust me with it. So next was the fit, the emotional. And so when I was going through this process, I said, you know what? I was tackling these things. I said, okay. Something still isn’t right.

Stephanie Hall [00:43:58]:
What am I missing? Hey, Stephanie. Go back to therapy. I do that all over the time. I do my little section, 6 months of therapy, 3 to 6 months therapy, and then I get out of it, and then I’m okay for a while, then I go back to it. The last time

Evelyn Pacitti [00:44:13]:
that I did it, we

Stephanie Hall [00:44:13]:
started doing beach trauma therapy.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:44:16]:
And I told her, I was like, hey.

Stephanie Hall [00:44:17]:
I’m ready to get to the nitty gritty. I had to get this crap out. The more she talked P and G, it was a couple of people. They talked me through things. The more revelations I had, the more crying I did, which that release gives you a power that I can never explain. And that’s why I wrote this blog on my website and I tell people it’s okay to cry. It is okay to cry, crying this morning. I sure did.

Stephanie Hall [00:44:52]:
I tried this morning and it it was just me going back to the day. Hey. This is a situation I can’t control. Let me just go back to what I know. Let me release this and let it go and just understand that it’s going to work the way out the way it’s supposed to work. Right? That’s a part of the process. So that’s why I have the emotional after that. You wanna tackle the main things first to, like, spiritual or belief system, physical, then the emotional.

Stephanie Hall [00:45:18]:
The emotional is probably one of the hardest parts if you’re someone that dealt with a lot of past emotional pain and trauma. And I grew up in my my addiction. I grew up in addiction. I grew up in a household where there was nothing but custom arguing and fighting, loud and physically fighting. I’ve seen things that, you know, I’ve told people about and even the people that I’ve seen do it, and it was just like, one of the main questions was like, oh, I don’t remember that. Really? You don’t remember that? Okay. But repressing those memories is a bad thing too. So all that is negative energy that stays trapped in your body.

Stephanie Hall [00:46:00]:
And so the moment I kept crying and crying, that nerve pain, all of a sudden, just, it was like, woah. And I was taking Lyrica for years before I took Lyrica, I said gabapentin. I think I took gabapentin for 10 years, Mirica for another 10 years. And one day I just got off of it, and I went harder with the emotional. I never needed it again. What I did get

Evelyn Pacitti [00:46:25]:
So you were so you had nerve pain for almost 20 years.

Stephanie Hall [00:46:29]:
I had nerve pain since I was 18 years old. I had a small stroke, like, 2 weeks after my 18th birthday. They said that it was due to a complicated migraine, which I had migraines since I was 12, which is a hereditary thing. And so it was like coming like a TIA or something like that. Right? But it had lasting effects. And I was still in a space where it was a lot of trying to go to the drawing at my home at the time. I was a high school senior. I wasn’t even sure I was gonna graduate.

Stephanie Hall [00:47:03]:
It was great. I missed most of 2nd semester, but that pain followed me for a long time. And the moment, like I said, the moment I started healing emotionally, it just went away. I also had something called so I think they call it functional neurological disorder now, but back then, they didn’t have a a word for it, but they’re they’re like seizure like episode. This is what my doctors call it. I would have moments where I would snuck out. My whole body would just get weak. I will fall and I would start seizing.

Stephanie Hall [00:47:39]:
My body would shake. And it would do it for about, depending on how aggressive it was, 10 to 30 minutes. And it felt like a whole trolley horse was all over my body. I could hear everything that was going on around me. People were freaking out. Right?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:47:59]:
Yes. Yeah. Listen.

Stephanie Hall [00:48:01]:
You are freaking out. Right? I could not respond. I could not talk. And every time after the episode was over, I would be so weak all over my body, and they would be like, do you know what happened? Yeah. I know exactly what happened. I couldn’t say or do anything because I felt like my whole body was in a choke hold. So that’s what emotional trauma will do to you. I usually carry stress on my back.

Stephanie Hall [00:48:31]:
As a point of reference, if you look up an emotional issue that okay. Let me go backward. This is the way you go with it. If you think about a pain that you’re experiencing your body, upper left shoulder pain, neck pain is tied to fear, control anxiety, and stress. Okay? When I realized I have that pain there, and I’m like, oh, I know exactly what it is. I call it out, and then I’ll be like, okay. What caught me being stressed? Okay. Let me go deal with that.

Stephanie Hall [00:49:03]:
You could actually look this up on Google and say, hey. I had what is me paying emotionally tied to? This stuff is real. It’s really real. Yeah. And so that’s why I can attest to it. It’s still like that for me to this day, but my pain level is, like, practically at 0. Down on near amazing. But yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:49:25]:
So that all that emotional pain and stuff that y’all holding in, the moment you start releasing that, your body is going to feel so much better. And I, from a neurological perspective, of course, it’s going to hit your nerves first because of the purpose of your nervous system. Right? That’s also tied with flight and flight response. And for some reason, society promotes white and white, which I think is double in itself. That needs to go. It totally needs to go.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:49:58]:
I really wanna dig in. I was like, okay. Explain to me why society promotes fight or flight. But I feel like that’ll bring us too far

Stephanie Hall [00:50:05]:
off track. That’s that’s for another podcast. That’s for another one. But, yeah, the, your emotions are going to tackle your nerves first, and then it’s gonna start attacking your tissue, your muscles. It’s gonna go for everything else. Grief is one of the biggest one. If you’re holding on to so much grief in your life that I tell people that will physically cripple you. It will physically cripple you.

Stephanie Hall [00:50:30]:
Do the emotional healing work, and your body would feel so much better. The last ingredient that I have in this system is the mental. And I know you’re like, that’s me. Why did you go backwards like that? It’s a reason. By time, you start with everything else and you do it in the way that I stated, when you get to the mental, you’re gonna realize there’s actually nothing really wrong with me or very little. The sorts of the issues, not the men.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:51:01]:
It’s not. So what do you how do you separate mental and emotional? Because those two things tend to be very closely tied.

Stephanie Hall [00:51:10]:
Mental is thought. Emotions are feeling. That’s how I separated them. Now, yes, like you said, they’re very intertwined. That’s what’s physical and spiritual. Right? It’s all tied. But when I’m sitting here and I’m thinking about, okay, Am I having a issue with my thoughts or a issue with my feelings? Then I realized, hey. No.

Stephanie Hall [00:51:35]:
That’s a mental problem. Hey. You need might need to go meditate. You might need to heal something emotionally behind it so you don’t have those negative problems. Right? But it’s knowing what is the main issue. You’re saying, hey. I’m having a negative thought. That’s the main issue, but what’s the foundational cause of it? Oh, I have any emotional issue behind it and go deal with that feeling.

Stephanie Hall [00:52:00]:
Yeah. That’s how I would say it. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:52:04]:
Oh, that’s a great clarification. Thank

Stephanie Hall [00:52:06]:
you. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:52:08]:
And I think this is this is not a mini experiment. This is a journey that I think a lot of people could say, okay. Where am I in this journey? Am I jumping around? Am I running it in let’s try this.

Stephanie Hall [00:52:19]:
Yeah. I’m sorry. I and this was supposed to be a experiment. Right? I’m sorry. Guys, this is not an experiment. I’m sorry. I forgot. Yeah.

Stephanie Hall [00:52:30]:
This is not an experiment, and this is not a test. I think that this is something that you just have to say, hey. I’m just gonna do it, and I’m gonna do it with my mind and go with it full blown because it’s actually a whole process. Like you said, it is a journey. There really is no shortcut. There are none. There are none. If you’re gonna do it, you gotta do it right.

Stephanie Hall [00:52:52]:
Like, you gotta do it with the full force. No fear. No fear. And just go, kid in. Now, hey. If you wanna do a little experiment, I got one for you. Put your phone on do not disturb for a whole week. Don’t answer your door for a whole week.

Stephanie Hall [00:53:10]:
Don’t answer your phone. Don’t respond to text messages. Just do what you’re obligated to do on a daily basis. Right? Which may be, hey. I gotta go go to work. I gotta feed my kid. I gotta take a bath and go to a doctor’s appointment or something. Right? Don’t do anything outside of that and see how the world responds and then see how you respond.

Stephanie Hall [00:53:34]:
If everybody else is freaking out because they’re like, hey. I needed you. Yeah. Where were you? I came to your house. You got some healing

Stephanie Hall [00:53:45]:
to do.

Stephanie Hall [00:53:45]:
They have some healing to do. You might need to cut some people off. You might need to make some changes in life. If you are the one freaking out, you have to deal with the day. And because it’s crazy how this world is not used to having peace. People are not used to having putting your phone on do not disturb, not answering your door, not answering text. And I’m talking about things that are not an emergency, darling. Not an emergency.

Stephanie Hall [00:54:11]:
Things that can hold wait until tomorrow. Even those dishes in your seat, it can wait until tomorrow. Go get you feeling mental clarity and peace. People aren’t used to peace. We’re used to operating and organize chaos. And if you’re freaking out because you got a little stranded piece, you got some healing, dude. I’m sorry. That’s just to be real.

Stephanie Hall [00:54:37]:
And I know why people are looking at this and be like, oh my god. This world is organized chaos. It is. And the moment you start healing and then you start feeling that chaotic energy, you’re like, what in the world? Then you’re on the other side of the spectrum. You’re like, oh my god. That’s where I catch myself at the same time. And I’m like, oh, no. You gotta stay out there.

Stephanie Hall [00:54:59]:
And that’s all that. I’ll be nicer. You’re not dying. I’ll talk to you later. Yeah. That’s nice road for me. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:55:08]:
Oh, that’s a great one. Thank you. If people wanna learn more about you or to follow-up or to become part of your world, how do people find you? Oh,

Stephanie Hall [00:55:20]:
I am on all socials, mainly on Facebook, Instagram, tickler, talker, and LinkedIn. My username is ishine period p o. You can also go to my website. It is ishineperiod.com. It’s spelled ish ineperild.com. Yes. It’s all spelled out. I also have information about everything that I do, everything that I am.

Stephanie Hall [00:55:51]:
My big strategy, which is a part of my nonprofit organization. And so I’m praying that one day I can get to a point where I can offer healing the healing program free to the public because, yes, it’s a whole thing. It’s it’s a whole thing.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:56:11]:
With that, I wanna ask you my final five questions that I ask everybody on the podcast.

Stephanie Hall [00:56:17]:
Are you ready? I think I am. Let’s do

Evelyn Pacitti [00:56:21]:
it. What is your definition of serenity?

Stephanie Hall [00:56:24]:
Oh, when I think about serenity, I think about the the poem. God gave me the serenity to accept things that I cannot control guys. I’m tearing it up. Anyway, serenity is a state of mind is a state of being it’s basically peace to me being in that place and space where nothing and nobody can bother me, and I’m just

Evelyn Pacitti [00:56:56]:
If you could master one skill instantly, what would it be?

Stephanie Hall [00:57:00]:
I don’t know. Go when I say this. I have to be careful of the things that I say. I need to master knowing people’s problem quicker and easier. I know it from a gift perspective, but and I like I said, I I shouldn’t be staying as big or Asian. But there are times when, like I said, somebody could really be going through something, and I may be the solution to this problem. And I tell myself that I am the solution. Right? I just wanna know this off gate.

Stephanie Hall [00:57:42]:
If I look at you like, hey. I know what’s the problem. Let’s see. Let me help you. Here you go. Yeah. And he really can be very selfish. Maybe be some more superhuman.

Stephanie Hall [00:58:00]:
Right? I shouldn’t ask that, but yeah. At least. I didn’t say that, but yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:58:13]:
What is your favorite method to recharge during the workday?

Stephanie Hall [00:58:19]:
They didn’t feel and not looking at anything, talking to anybody, not just being present. Even in my work day, being good enough at work from home, but I can just take a step back and just say, hey. My computer’s literally sitting right here, but I don’t have to pay shit right now. I actually have to use taken care of, but what needs to be taken care of can’t wait. Right? Even with business stuff. My kid is sitting right here, and I make life so that she doesn’t even really have to bother me that much. She’s happy and content. She’s doing her work over her iPad.

Stephanie Hall [00:59:01]:
Just sitting still and just letting this cold airy shake out and minds. I think we have a good, great gift of that. Right? We can actually tune out kids’ noises and stuff like that. I’m concerned that master that. That’s so cute. But just having that moment just to it allows me to collect myself even in a time of stress. And, like, let me just take a step back, and I’m just gonna it’s there. I’m gonna act like it’s not.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:59:36]:
And and how long do you sit in that stillness?

Stephanie Hall [00:59:39]:
As long as I need to get myself together. You cannot. I am a person now that since I’ve been healing, I can’t operate in anxiety and chaos and stress and all this fast paced stuff. I do operate fast paced, but in the things that I’m really feel that everything else, I take my time it. And if you’re someone that’s coming at me saying, hey. That’s not need you to do this, and I’m not spilling it. You gotta have to be patient. You’re gonna have to be patient.

Stephanie Hall [01:00:07]:
And if it causes a lot of stress, you definitely you want to be really patient. Yeah. Yeah. I’m not gonna stress myself out for something that I need to take care of from you because I don’t do it for myself. Right? You stay in that I stay in that still moment until I collect myself, and I’m strong enough to go back to doing what I was doing. That preventing burnout. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:00:31]:
What are you geeking out about right now?

Stephanie Hall [01:00:34]:
I’m geeking out about me coming out with my businesses next month. I am so freaking excited. It took me 3 years to get this together, but I finally got it. And I’m relaunching my nonprofit within my 40 day celebration. I’m calling it the rebirth celebration. So it starts January 1st and it ends February 10th. Relaunching my nonprofit as a 5 zero one c three. And, my podcast is already up and going, but I guess I’m gonna take that to another level.

Stephanie Hall [01:01:12]:
Right? And I’m launching my clothing brand. And so there’s so much happening next month, and I’m so stoked about it. But remembering to sit back and be like, hey, Stephanie. You already done a lot of work. She’ll it’s coming. It’s just it’s coming. But I’m so excited about it. And I’m like, can December just end already? And it’s just December 12th.

Stephanie Hall [01:01:38]:
But I’m so stoked. And, what I’m doing the the biggest part of what I’m doing is, like I was saying earlier, I’m actually going out and helping other organizations with, their outreach event, for the month of January. And, yay, I’m ready to get out and get to work. Nice.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:01:55]:
Probably by the time this is live, you’ll be in the middle of your 4th day.

Stephanie Hall [01:01:59]:
Yeah. Yeah. So if you guys if you hear us, then, hey. You can join in on the festivities. My team I’m still building my team right now. I have about 3 girls on my team right now. I’m still building a team. And, hey, whether you even if you just wanna be a volunteer with the nonprofit, men or women, it come join in another festivities.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:02:22]:
Assume you’ve achieved the optimal work life blend. Describe your typical day.

Stephanie Hall [01:02:29]:
I’m kinda close to it. Don’t even my my typical day would be if I still work a full time job Do my 9 to 5 or 8 to 5. Right? From 5 to about 6 o’clock, I normally take a chill pill mentally, emotionally, physically. And then at 6 o’clock till about whenever, actually, I’m working on business stuff. I’m actually downstairs cooking dinner for my daughter while she’s in the bathtub while the laundry is going. And I have my glass of wine if I still drink, but I don’t, actually. So we’re gonna say glass of coconut oil. Right? And I’ve learned the art of multitasking, and it’s saying, hey.

Stephanie Hall [01:03:23]:
I gotta get all this done at this time. Let me just create this system and say, hey. While my daughter’s at the tub, I can’t actually cook. And then while my food is cooking, I can go and check on the computer and type a few things up real quick. And then I can go and write some stuff down. I can go check the laundry. It’s knowing that you had that process and trusting the process and not stressing yourself about it. So and I ain’t doing too much, and I don’t do too much at all.

Stephanie Hall [01:03:48]:
That the balance. And what I didn’t get done today, will get done tomorrow. Sometimes I’m up in the middle of the night too. It happens. So yeah. Yeah. And some of the best of my business plans come down in the middle of night. So, yeah, it just depends on that.

Stephanie Hall [01:04:05]:
I don’t live a whole life of structure anymore. I live more of a life of freedom. So I do think when I need to do it, get it done.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:04:15]:
A life of freedom. I

Stephanie Hall [01:04:16]:
like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Believe it or not, it takes away a lot of that stress and anxiety we deal with on a daily basis.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:04:24]:
I can recognize it. Yeah. I think it’s something that I it’s something I think I taste in my own life. Yeah. But then I always reject it because I was like, it should be more structured. It should be more like, you you taste it. You’re like, oh, this is good but no. This is just me being silly.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:04:39]:
This is not the way it actually can be. So it’s great to hear an example of what that that blend, that balance really feels.

Stephanie Hall [01:04:46]:
Yeah. It’s like the only and I tell people this all the time. The only thing I’m obligated to do is at 8:30 to 5:30, be at my at my desk working my job. Outside of the rest of those hours over the gun, I can do whatever I want. I can sleep when I want, I can work on my business when I want, I can do other things when I want. And so by me having that control portion over my life, I’m like, Hey, And my job is pretty, pretty easy for it to be as awesome as it is. And I’ve been in this space for 15 years. So it’s a, I found myself kind of moments where I could, like, chill in between time while I’m working.

Stephanie Hall [01:05:25]:
Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:05:28]:
Amazing. Finally, what is the one thing you want the audience to take away from our discussion today?

Stephanie Hall [01:05:38]:
I want the audience to know that happiness is possible, Freedom is possible. Peace is possible. Wanting more for yourself is possible. Want to be the best person you can be as possible. Wanting to be the light that outshines everything in this dark world is possible. Most importantly, which is the title of this podcast, serenity is possible. It’s possible. It’s there.

Stephanie Hall [01:06:14]:
You just have to do the work to achieve it.

Evelyn Pacitti [01:06:18]:
If you are struggling to find space to reflect and improve your daily energy levels, then I’d like to invite you to one of our free weekly co working sessions. You can find more information about it at measurablewellness.com/energy. I hope to see you soon. Intrigued or inspired by today’s episode, but forgot the details? Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Visit measurablewellness.com/podcast for a complete summary of today’s episode, including timestamps, links, and other resources for your adventure. Wishing you strength and serenity, Evelyn out.