Combining Passion & Talent

Episode summary:

[00:00:58] Getting to Know Aniek Korten
[00:05:02] Definition of Overspannen
[00:07:21] Her Burnout Story
[00:13:36] The Journey towards Balance
[00:17:37] Time for Transition
[00:21:02] Her Spark, Combining Passion & Talent
[00:25:54] Passion & Energy Levels
[00:30:51] Mini Experiment
[00:36:23] Connect with Aniek

[00:36:53] Final Five
[00:37:03] Definition of Serenity
[00:37:20] Master 1 Skill
[00:37:54] Recharge Method
[00:38:15] Geeking Out
[00:38:48] Ideal Day
[00:40:58] Take Away Message

Listen to the full episode

Meet our guest, Aniek korten

Aniek used to work as a legal professional in different types of companies/branches. When she was little, she wanted to be a nurse, but was asked the question: “Will that earn you enough money when you grow up?”. After which she said: “Well then, then I’ll become a lawyer!”. But working as a legal counsel didn’t fulfill her enough, so she made the switch to coaching to honor her drive to help people forward! Now she focuses on female professionals who feel unfulfilled in their jobs, to help them figure out who they are, what they want and which job fits best in their life. To find the golden combination of their passion and talents!

www.stralendsuccesvol.nl

transcript

transcript created by Castmagic AI, may include errors

Aniek Korten [00:00:00]:
I have noticed in my own experience and talking to other people who have been burned out or or respond as well, It’s if you do a thing that you love and you do a thing that you’re good at, then that is the golden combination that where work doesn’t necessarily deplete your energy, but it gives you energy.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:00:22]:
Are you ready to reclaim your life from exhaustion and expand the possibilities of what life can be? If so, I’m your guide, Evelyn Pacitti, work life geek and engineer turned resiliency coach on a mission to redefine how we work, live, and utilize our energy. Each episode, I dig deep with my guests as they share their stories, spark, strategies for developing our own unique work life life. This is Engineering Serenity.Episode 12, Combining passion and talent with Aniek Korten.

Aniek Korten [00:00:56]:
Thank you for having me.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:00:59]:
So, I’ll start off with a few questions. What is your full name and pronouns?

Aniek Korten [00:01:03]:
I am Aniek Korten, and my pronouns are she and her.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:07]:
What is your age?

Aniek Korten [00:01:10]:
My age is 31.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:14]:
What career or industry do you work in?

Aniek Korten [00:01:17]:
I used to be a legal officer and now I’m in coaching.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:22]:
Nice transition. How many hours do you typically work per week?

Aniek Korten [00:01:26]:
While I was working as an employee, I worked 36 hours a week. And now it’s a little bit up in the air. I don’t have a, how do you say that, I don’t have a good average yet as my own being my own boss. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:41]:
Do you like your career being your own boss?

Aniek Korten [00:01:44]:
Yes. Very much. Yep.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:01:46]:
On a scale of 1 to 5, where 5 is the best, how would you describe your work life blend today?

Aniek Korten [00:01:53]:
Today? I would say a 4 because there’s always room for improvement, but, overall, I’m pretty happy. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:00]:
Where are you located?

Aniek Korten [00:02:01]:
I’m located in Heithuisen, which is, for the people living around Eindhoven or further up north, is around, Wirth and Romond. So it’s in Limburg.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:13]:
In the Netherlands.

Aniek Korten [00:02:14]:
In the Netherlands. Yes.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:15]:
Yeah. What culture were you raised in?

Aniek Korten [00:02:19]:
I was born and raised in the Netherlands in, in Limburg to to Dutch parents. So a very Dutch upbringing. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:30]:
Describe your household. Currently,

Aniek Korten [00:02:32]:
I’m living together with my boyfriend.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:02:35]:
Do you have any hobbies?

Aniek Korten [00:02:37]:
I have far too many hobbies. So I I am very creative. So I do painting and drawing. I also crochet. I love to go out on hikes and walking around, the area where I live. I also love dancing, salsa dancing and bachata. And then I also like to read a lot of books. And then I have these once in a while I have this idea that I’m gonna learn playing the guitar and then after a few weeks I stop with that again and then I find something new like photography that I wanna try out and then I do that for a couple of weeks or months and then I find something new again.

Aniek Korten [00:03:20]:
But the ones I mentioned are, like, the steady ones that I’ve always liked. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:03:25]:
I’m always impressed with people who have lots of hobbies. It’s it’s never been something that ever I really dug into, so I’m like, I’m always amazed.

Aniek Korten [00:03:34]:
Yeah. I think it’s, you know, it’s also a way of balancing things. Because if you have too many, then you don’t have enough time to contribute to all of these amazing hobbies. And if you don’t have any hobbies then, you know, it’s also a bit bleh. So I think it’s about finding the right balance, between how much time do you have, how many hobbies do you have, and can you do all of them as much as you want.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:00]:
Do you ever find that you get sucked into your hobbies too far and then lose track of other things?

Aniek Korten [00:04:09]:
No. No. I don’t think so. No. No? There was a time when I was, like, totally into salsa dancing because it was, like, like before the whole virus thing happened, I used to go out dancing a lot. Like sometimes even 4 times a week. But then after the virus, it’s it’s I’m not that into it anymore. So that changed as well.

Aniek Korten [00:04:32]:
That’s a funny funny funny development. Yeah. Nice. Do you

Evelyn Pacitti [00:04:38]:
have any history with burnout or exhaustion?

Aniek Korten [00:04:42]:
Yes. In 2018, when I was 26 years old, I was, as they call in Dutch, which is the pre stage to, a burnout. And I think I got sick in March of that year, and it took me about 3 to 6 months to get back to work.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:05:02]:
I love the term I’m butchering the Dutch, but it’s a term that just doesn’t exist in the US. And it’s this sort of very specific identification of the stage before burnout. Can you describe a bit of what is overspana versus burnout versus just sort of normal being tired?

Aniek Korten [00:05:24]:
Yeah. Of course. I always explain it with this elastic rubber band. So when you’re you don’t have any excessive stress, the rubber band, you pull on it, and it tightens, and then you let go, and then it returns to its normal form. That’s how our energy management usually works. But if you’re overspunnered, that’s the presta supernaud, then you pull on the the rubber band, and it stays tight. So it doesn’t loosen up anymore if you let go, basically. And then burnout, as you pull on the band and it snaps.

Aniek Korten [00:06:01]:
So that’s the three stages. So when you’re still okay, you experience stress, but then you also recover, and you you rest again, and your body is okay. It’s neutral, basically. And then a responder happens when you are stressed for a longer period of time, and your body loses the ability to recover and to relax. So it keeps building up. And then burnout is basically the point where it becomes too much for your body, and your body says, no matter what you think you still wanna do, I’m not doing it anymore. You’re gonna stop.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:06:37]:
That’s also how I always think about burnout is is that burnout is the point where your body starts really manifesting your stress physically. It’s not in the clinical definition, it’s not in the hood description, but I always feel like that transition into your body reacting is really when Yeah. You know you’re burnt out.

Aniek Korten [00:06:58]:
Yeah. And I think the the tricky thing about burnout is that you don’t see it coming. You only notice that you’re burned out at the point when you’re burned out. It’s a very sneaky thing as well. Because when you’re like the overspana period is when you also start noticing physical things. I was really tired. That’s why it took 3 to 6 months to get back to work. Because I was really tired.

Aniek Korten [00:07:26]:
I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t concentrate. It took me hours to do grocery shopping, which normally would take 20 minutes. I couldn’t cook anymore because there were too many things that were happening at the same time. So I had to watch the rice cooking and then the vegetables and I had to be ready at the same time. And then it was like, I just can’t do it anymore. It was just really difficult. And emotional outburst like, where did I put my knife? I can’t find the knife to put bread to put something like butter on my bread.

Aniek Korten [00:07:59]:
And I just burst out crying because I couldn’t find the knife. All these weird things that also already happens when you’re, like, not burned out yet. But burnout is, I think, when your body really says, I give up. I can’t do this anymore.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:08:15]:
It’s interesting because the the symptoms that you were describing usually also fit in the burnout category. So it’s nice that there’s that really distinction. So you were having these symptoms. Did you take the initiative to rest, to take time off, or did it come from an external

Aniek Korten [00:08:32]:
I think at some point I went to work and I said, I don’t know what it is but for some reason it seems like it can’t do it anymore. Like all the things that I used to be good at, they took too much time, or if something happened that was unexpected during my day, I would just be completely out of yeah. I would be completely flabbergasted. What happened? And and I couldn’t handle it anymore. So I think I’m not sure anymore how it went. But I think I went to my manager and I said, I don’t know what’s happening, but I think I need to call in sick for a while because, I need to rest and I’m I’m tired. And then we had this support at the at the job where I was working back then. Something like, health officer or, like, where people who have stress issues or problems at home they go to and this person is almost like, a coach or a psychologist at work to help you through it.

Aniek Korten [00:09:39]:
And I had a couple of sessions there. And I think it was actually in one of those sessions that we came to the conclusion that I needed to call in sick. So it was not entirely on my own initiative. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:09:53]:
Was there anything in particular that you feel like was depleting your energy reserves that you removed now? Or what do you think is the difference between feeling like you’re in this work life balance of a level 4 today versus in 2018 and you were overspana?

Aniek Korten [00:10:09]:
Yeah. I was working at a government agency back then, the IND, the Immigration and Naturalization Service. And I was working at the asylum office

Evelyn Pacitti [00:10:20]:
Okay.

Aniek Korten [00:10:21]:
Where I actually held interviews with people who requested asylum in the Netherlands. So I would hear all the stories from people who came from Syria, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan. And they would tell their story of why they fled their home to come and came here to ask for asylum. So what I think was mostly the pleading is that their stories are very intense. You grow up in a very safe country. Where since I’m alive, there hasn’t been any close by war. Now that’s a little bit different with everything that’s going on in the world, but still, it’s not like where I live. So it’s been a very safe environment to grow up in.

Aniek Korten [00:11:07]:
And then suddenly, you hear all these horrible stories, very detailed as well, because you need to be thorough in these interviews. Because, basically, their life depends on it to a certain extent. Because if they don’t, their story needs to be clear. And and it was my responsibility to make sure that everything they encountered and everything they went through was in the files so that someone else could decide whether they had a right to stay in the Netherlands. And I think what that pleaded my energy most is that I would hear all these horrible stories, and I didn’t really have a feeling that I could help them. Because I yeah. I would listen to them, which is good for their process as well. But the if you put it really bluntly, the only thing I did was listen to their story, put it in writing, and then somebody else decides what happens to them.

Aniek Korten [00:12:02]:
And, of course, they often had questions about the housing or how their stay in the centers where they sleep and stay when they come to the news, how things went there. And I as a government official, I couldn’t really help them with that. I would have to redirect them to the proper authorities or the proper organizations that helped them with that. So I felt a little bit like I’m it felt a little bit tricky. Like, it really helped them. I think that depleted my energy the most.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:12:37]:
I think that’s an interesting distinction that it wasn’t the intensity of the stories, but it was your inability to help that was depleting in that.

Aniek Korten [00:12:48]:
Yeah. It really was a combination because, of course, the intensity of the stories. I had to stop watching the news for a while back then as well because hearing it is one thing but then seeing the images on the news as well that was too much. I couldn’t really handle that. But it was indeed the combination of the 2. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:13:09]:
So what was the spark that shifted you into what you do now? You’re in coaching, so you’re still listening to people’s stories. Now you’re providing some more support. How did you get from being over spotted, taking time off to now being in this more balanced experience?

Aniek Korten [00:13:26]:
Yeah. When I was overspun and I was at home and I had literally almost no energy, A friend of mine, we were having lunch together, and then she basically asked me, if there was one thing that you could do that would give you just a little bit of energy right now, what would it be? And I really silently almost said, I want to help people not end up here, where I am now. And so that was the first seed that was planted in my brain. Okay. I might want to do something with coaching someday. So that stuck with me. And then after I recovered and I reintegrated work and I I started working my full hours again, I basically started looking for roles, either at my job or as a volunteer, in which I could do coaching. Because a little voice in my head also said, yeah.

Aniek Korten [00:14:24]:
Is that really what you want? Or is it maybe just a a fluke or a silly idea in your head? So, basically, that’s what I started to do. So I took a volunteer job in which I coached young adults to prevent them from, dropping out of high school. And I switched jobs where I also managed to craft a sort of coaching within my role. And then I started to realize, oh, this is not just a a fluke. I really enjoy doing this. And it’s something that comes quite natural to me. And I’m actually seeing good results. And I started gaining trust in myself that I could actually do it.

Aniek Korten [00:15:13]:
And that’s when I also decided, okay, if I help people with this, and they’re vulnerable when they come to me, then maybe it’s good to do an education and coaching. So I did a coaching training as well. And the 1st day there I was like, oh yeah, this is my thing. I feel at home here, I like doing this, I like the kind of people that are coaches. I’ve always been very much into personal development and developing yourself. But it really felt like coming home, Yes, this is what I should do. So that’s when my dream of opening my own coaching practice started to become a lot more concrete and really something that I, yeah, that I really wanted to do. And then with my own experience of being almost burned out, after a coachings training, I also decided to do stress and burnouts.

Aniek Korten [00:16:06]:
How do you say that? Bacalliding. Yes. Stress and burnout coaching or support. And, yeah, last year I started my own business. And in April of this year, my contract stopped with my company where I worked. So from that time on, I’m basically been trying to build my own business.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:16:27]:
You had that single conversation of, like, if you could get a little bit of energy right now and you said, I wanna help people not get to where I’m at. Yeah. Was it difficult to make that transition to start to play and experiment in coaching?

Aniek Korten [00:16:42]:
To to some extent, yes. But that’s mostly because I’m very impatient when it comes to my own goals and things that I want in life. I’m very patient with other people, but with myself I’m very impatient. My dad always used to say like when you want something you want it yesterday. There’s no there’s almost no space in between to yeah. In which you allow yourself time to actually get there. That’s basically, yeah, the thing. So to some extent, it was really nice to start opening my eyes to the possibilities and looking for, this has something to do with coaching.

Aniek Korten [00:17:19]:
Maybe that’s why am I not why don’t I have this big practice already? Why am I not why don’t I have this big practice already? A little bit unrealistic,

Evelyn Pacitti [00:17:36]:
I know. But, When did you have that initial spark? 2018. 2018. So it’s been

Aniek Korten [00:17:43]:
Yeah. 5 years.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:17:43]:
Almost almost 5 years since that spark of getting that starting that momentum. So even somebody who’s impatient, as you would say Yeah. Still took 5 years to just start to step into the coaching and to start to have this transition. I think that’s a realistic expectation that even when we start to see where we wanna go, we start to have that spark of what our new life can look like. It’s there’s still this transition window. There’s time. There’s

Aniek Korten [00:18:09]:
Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:18:10]:
And you have to make space for that.

Aniek Korten [00:18:12]:
Yeah. And it’s also, like, I want to experience also whether it was like that fluke thing that popped into my head and is it really true and is it really back then I didn’t rely on my gun as much as I do now. Looking back now, if I have that feeling like, oh, yes. This is it. Then I would probably take less time trying to realize it than back then. Because I needed to figure out for myself if it was really what I wanted as well. That’s why I took a detour with this volunteer job and tried to get a little bit more of a coaching role in my jobs. And at some point it came to a point where I would not really be happy with my work anymore and I felt myself going down the same road as I went, like, 2018.

Aniek Korten [00:19:04]:
Like, being more and more stressed and not having as much energy anymore. But the only days that I didn’t feel like it like that is when I had a coaching session planned at my job. So that for me was, like, the very clear sign, like, Anik, you’re not doing the right thing anymore. You need to switch. You need to spend more time on coaching. So we also check, is it possible to do more coaching at the job where I was working? But as a small company in a start up environment, so there was not that much space to grow in that role there. We had some good conversations about that. And, yeah, the end conclusion was that I wanted to do more coaching.

Aniek Korten [00:19:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. So it’s not it’s not that it’s been, like, I had a spark in 2018, and it took me 5 years to act on it. I’ve been acting on it in the meantime, but, like, the real switch and the real transformation on the real change, Like, the moment that people really because that’s with personal development. Right? You do a lot of work, and then at some point, something changes, And then people see it. And then they feel like, now you’ve changed. You’ve been changing already before that as well. So the real change came 5 years later, but in the meantime, I was I was also doing the change work basically.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:20:29]:
Yeah. Building the confidence, doing the transition, validating the the initial spark. Is it there? Is it not? How do I know if it’s working?

Aniek Korten [00:20:38]:
Yep.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:20:38]:
Yep. Paying attention to the symptoms and the learnings you already had from your recovery from the first overspana Yeah. So that you saw it coming, you saw the symptoms, you said, okay, I don’t want that anymore.

Aniek Korten [00:20:49]:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:20:53]:
Very interesting. Do you feel like you’ve stepped into that initial idea of helping people prevent being overspondent and exhausted?

Aniek Korten [00:21:02]:
Yes. Because what I do with my, coaching practice is that that I help people find the the golden combination between their passion and their talent. Is

Evelyn Pacitti [00:21:14]:
I’m a mistake?

Aniek Korten [00:21:15]:
Yeah. I believe that we grow up in certain cultures, and there’s lots of expectations from society, from your parents. And that can influence you to a a large extent. And there is something to be said, like, you let it influence you because if you decide not to listen to it, then it’s fine. But that’s maybe too much for now, but to go into now. But we all grow up with with expectations that influence us, And that can result in you doing work or having a job. That’s not really your passion or your for example, you maybe choose a certain career path because everyone in your family is a doctor. So it’s expected that you become a doctor as well.

Aniek Korten [00:22:07]:
But do you really like being a doctor? Maybe not. Or or you get the idea that in order to be successful and socially accepted, you have to have a good job with a good salary, And not all good income. And not all jobs fit that image that you have that would allow you to fulfill that societal expectation. So what I do now is I really help people to get back to their core again and to say, hey, who am I? What am I good at? And what do I like doing? And how can we figure out what kind of job that is that that fits What kind of work do you do that fits your unique sense of being?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:22:52]:
But what if your talents don’t match your passion? So say you are a doctor and you happen to be talented at it

Aniek Korten [00:22:58]:
Mhmm.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:22:59]:
But you don’t feel like you have a passion for it. How do you make that distinction? Because you said you’re finding the intersection of passion and talent.

Aniek Korten [00:23:06]:
Yeah. What I believe is that the things that we’re really good at are things that also come naturally and they tend to also be things that we like doing. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Evelyn Pacitti [00:23:20]:
So you’re saying that if you have a talent at it, you’re probably also have a passion in that area.

Aniek Korten [00:23:27]:
Or at least something that has to do with that talent. Because it’s the things that come so naturally that we don’t necessarily view them as a talent, ourselves. Because when other people say, oh, you’re really good at this or that, then you’re like, oh, okay. I just, you know, I just do it. There’s nothing special that I’m doing. I just can’t. I can, so I do. You know? So it’s very, it’s not a learned skill per se.

Aniek Korten [00:23:55]:
It’s like something that comes very naturally and that you don’t recognize as a talent. And at least in my experience and what I see with people that I’ve worked with, it’s those talents come in very handy when you do stuff that you like. Or it enables you to do the things that you like. Because if you’re, for example, really good at solving puzzles or being analytical and critical thinking, then you probably also like doing these puzzles because it challenges you in a certain way. So if you look at it like that, then, yes, you can be very good at something and not have a passion for it. That’s what happened with me as well. I was not to be arrogant or something, but I was good at my job. People were always happy with how I did my work, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Aniek Korten [00:24:48]:
So I needed to find all of the different bits and pieces that I was good at and that I always applied to a field in which they were also handy and figure out what is the area or the kind of job that I wanna do, where it actually also comes in handy. Because legal cases or legal problems, there’s puzzles. But people are also puzzles to a certain extent. So that analytical thinking is not only handy in be when you’re a legal officer, but they that also comes in handy when you have a person in front of you who struggles with something, and you need to figure out the best way to help

Evelyn Pacitti [00:25:35]:
them. Okay.

Aniek Korten [00:25:38]:
It’s more about what are your talents and what is that passion that you have and where does it not match with your current job and what would be your your dream or your ideal and how to get there.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:25:54]:
And how does that play into our energy levels and keeping burnout and overspana away?

Aniek Korten [00:26:01]:
Yeah. Because I have noticed in my own experience, and talking to other people who have been burned out or overspana as well, If if you do a thing that you love and you do a thing that you’re good at, then that is the golden combination that that where work doesn’t necessarily deplete your energy, but it gives you energy. If you’re stuck in a place where you don’t feel like you belong there or you feel like, I don’t have intrinsic motivation to do this work or I don’t have a drive or then every day, you will start losing energy going to your work. And that becomes a never ending cycle of energy depletion in which it becomes worse and worse. And at some point, you end up being completely depleted of energy, and then you’re overspun or burnt out. But if you do work that you love and you’re really good at because a lot of the talents that you need for it come naturally, then it starts giving you energy, and you become this of course, there are often there’s always this moment in time when you have to do something that you don’t like. Every job has that. But if you have 80% I like my job and only 20% then, you know, you just you end your workday feeling energised and feeling happy about your day at work.

Aniek Korten [00:27:33]:
And then a responder or a burnout is a lot less likely to happen, basically.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:27:41]:
You got me thinking about, for example, running your own business or even working in someone else’s organization. How can you take the work that you’re doing that could be depleting you and think about as you’re saying, find those bits and pieces of the things that you’re good at, of the passion, of your talent, and then integrate them into the things that are depleting you. How do I change the way that I operate doing this activity so that it’s more aligned with my talent so it’s less depleting?

Aniek Korten [00:28:09]:
Yeah. What I think is a nice way of looking at it is that always when I had to do something that I didn’t like at work, I always tried to figure out, okay, maybe I don’t like this, but how can I make this interesting in a way that I can learn something from it or where it benefits my personal development? Or how does this contribute to my goals later on. For example, when I started working, I did these jobs in customer due diligence, and we had to do a lot of excel sheets and stuff. I was not good at excel. I used it I could do, like, a sum in Excel, and that was about it. And I know how to do the basic layout things in Excel, like coloring the columns and stuff. But there, I suddenly had to work with Excel, and I had to do formulas in Excel, and I don’t know what. So I decided to go okay.

Aniek Korten [00:29:12]:
I don’t really like excel. It’s not really my my strength. But let’s look at it as a puzzle because I like doing puzzles. And how can I learn as much as possible from this that could maybe benefit me later on in a later job? So that’s how I started looking at Excel. Okay. What can I learn from this that might contribute at some point to my goal? And back then, I didn’t really have this goal yet of I wanna become a coach. And it’s not that Excel is super useful in coaching, but it is useful in doing your company’s finances. Anik, who just started working, started seeing Excel as like a puzzle and trying to figure out how can I learn as much as possible because I also like learning new things? So puzzle and learning new things that helped me to start, like, playing with Excel.

Aniek Korten [00:30:11]:
That’s one way of looking at it. What can this thing that I don’t like, what could it bring me? And, of course, that’s not a long term solution because if you unless you start to really like doing it when you’re playing with it, that’s also a possibility, that you just didn’t know that you could like it. But that has helped me in the past, like, when I I didn’t like a certain aspect of my job to just play around with, see what I could get from it or learn from it. And, that has definitely helped me to learn a lot of new skills and as helped me in subsequent jobs as well.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:30:50]:
And I get the feeling that learning new things and solving puzzles is one of your natural skill sets. So that’s, like, in your collection of natural skill sets. Can you give an example or give a little mini experiment for someone who’s sitting there thinking, okay. I have this thing that I want to make better, but learning is not a natural skill set or puzzling is not a natural skill set. How do you start to determine what are those natural talents that you have? Where would someone start? What could they try?

Aniek Korten [00:31:19]:
Yeah. One nice thing to do is to think back about your childhood. What did you like doing as a child? Was it going out and playing football in the or soccer in the garden? Or was it doing games with your family, like board games or or other, types or computer games? Did you enjoy making tree houses? Or did you enjoy crafting and being creative? And also looking at your hobbies, what kind of hobbies do you like to do? Because that’s also an indication of I like dancing also because I like music. I never really saw myself as a dancer. But at some point, I just realized, like, oh, it’s really nice to just sometimes not have to think and just go up into the music and let myself be led by a dance partner because I don’t have to think. That was, for me, a nice way of relaxing. And when I started, I was drawn into it by 2 friends who already danced. So they just took me one day and then I was because I also like the music.

Aniek Korten [00:32:29]:
Or maybe you like playing an instrument. And figure out what it is that you like about it. Because everybody likes different things about maybe the same hobby.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:32:40]:
I thought the dance example was really interesting that it’s the thing that draws you to it is that it’s relaxing. You don’t have to you don’t have to lead here. You can move and be in the flow without having to make decisions.

Aniek Korten [00:32:53]:
Yeah. And if I look at that and what I do now as a job, as a coach, I also, of course, you think about how you can help people. But for me, it’s also a lot of intuition. So when I coach, it’s not that I, like, constantly in my head, like, thinking, oh, what’s the next question that’s that I need to ask? But it’s more like, what happens and what does somebody say? And then intuitively, things come up. And I don’t use my head that much when I’m coaching. So in a sense, I’m also being led by the situation that occurs rather than having to sit there and think all the time, like, okay, what’s the next question I’m gonna ask? I don’t know. Oh, no. Oh, maybe I can ask that.

Aniek Korten [00:33:42]:
That that doesn’t occur. It just happens, basically. It’s just like, that person says this. Okay. Then I can ask this. And then So it’s a very relaxed way of working. Yeah. I then Actually, I’m really not realizing that now when I’m talking to you.

Aniek Korten [00:33:59]:
That’s, like, the common thing between why I like dancing and why I like coaching. So I think that’s a relatively easy way to start, if you’re sitting at home and you’re like, yeah, but I don’t know what my talents are or I don’t know what I like. Just to start doing things that you like, and start asking yourself, why do I like this? Or Yeah. What is it that I do that makes me good at this? For example. And then, that’s the first small step into figuring out your passion and your talent.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:33]:
I would add a small caveat here that sometimes the things that we’re drawn to doing Mhmm. You have to ask yourselves, am I doing this to numb or am I doing this because I actually enjoy this? For example, I like watching TV.

Aniek Korten [00:34:48]:
Mhmm.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:34:48]:
Do you like watching TV or are you numbing with the TV? And if you’re bad at a if you’re at a place where you could be struggling with exhaustion, being careful with that distinction, I think, is important.

Aniek Korten [00:35:00]:
Yeah. That’s a really good, addition to what I just said. And that’s why I think going back to your childhood and what you liked as a child is a very is a better starting point than looking at your hobbies. Because as a child, you’re not influenced by society as much. You just do what you like. If you like drawing, then you just draw. And you’re not concerned yet with how it looks or you just enjoy the process of drawing. You know? Or the same thing with going outside and play 1 minute you’re playing with a ball and another minute you’re going down the slide.

Aniek Korten [00:35:35]:
You just do whatever feels good and you just act on it straight away. And we lose that kind of ability when we grow up because we start learning and experiencing what kind of expectations people have and society has. And then you don’t wanna be the one that is outside of society or gets excluded. So then you start conforming yourself. It’s a very natural process. You start conforming yourself to expectations. So going back to your childhood, when you were still free as a bird and enjoying all the things that you did, I think that’s a good starting place. Because then you also don’t numb yourself.

Aniek Korten [00:36:17]:
You just do what you like. Exactly. Whatever comes up. Yep.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:36:22]:
Thank you. That’s a great place to start. If people wanna learn more about you or be in contact, how can they connect with you more?

Aniek Korten [00:36:29]:
They can always connect with me on LinkedIn. And I also have a website that is it’s in Dutch though. So for your English listeners, I think LinkedIn is the best place because you can always also translate my posts on LinkedIn as well. And then on my LinkedIn page, there is also a link to my web site and stuff. So if you’re then interested to learn more, you can find it there as well.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:36:53]:
Great. So to wrap up today’s conversation, I’m going to ask you the final five questions that I ask all my guests. Are you ready?

Aniek Korten [00:37:01]:
Yes. Let’s do it.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:37:03]:
What is your definition of serenity?

Aniek Korten [00:37:07]:
My definition of serenity is being at peace with yourself and enjoying being able to enjoy time on your own as well.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:37:21]:
If you could master one skill instantly, what would it be?

Aniek Korten [00:37:25]:
Oh, that’s a very interesting question. If I could master one skill directly, it would be being able to speak every language in the world. Why? I don’t know. I think it’s I like connecting with people. So it would make every holiday that I go on a lot more interesting because I could be It would be so much easier to connect with people in their own language.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:37:55]:
What is your favorite method of recharge during the workday?

Aniek Korten [00:37:59]:
That would be getting a cup of tea and staring out of the window for a couple of minutes, watching anything, like sometimes a squirrel walks through the garden or a bird flies across the window.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:38:15]:
What are you geeking out about right now?

Aniek Korten [00:38:18]:
Geeking out about. At the point where we’re doing this this recording, it’s almost it’s going towards Christmas. So we’re actually building these Lego Christmas houses as a decoration. So that’s there’s a lot of Lego building at the moment. The Christmas houses. Yeah. And decorating the house and stuff. I really like making it cozy inside.

Aniek Korten [00:38:43]:
That’s my geeking out at the moment.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:38:45]:
Yeah. Nice. Assume you’ve achieved the optimal work life blend, which you already mentioned that you’re out of 4. So you’re sort of there. Describe a typical workday.

Aniek Korten [00:38:57]:
A typical workday would then be just to get up around 7 in the morning, doing a nice walk outside before having breakfast, eating a nice healthy breakfast, then set an intention for the day or the week if it’s a Monday, do some journaling for the week, make sure that my planning is in order and then for that day. And then in the morning, do some light tasks because in the morning, I’m usually not at my best yet. That usually happens around, yeah, somewhere between 10 and 11. So from that point on, do the nice things like coaching sessions and also creative thinking processes. And then towards 3 or 4 o’clock, do a nice walk outside again to clear my head, do the last administrative tasks of that day to and reflect on the day what went well and what am I gonna do tomorrow, then close off and then have a nice dinner and, relaxing evening. And that could be either seeing friends or going to the movies or just staying inside, doing something in my creative bubble. Yeah. Something like that.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:40:18]:
Amazing. Yeah. Well, thank you for today’s conversation. It was nice to hear the explanation of what is overspondent, how you used it, how that led to what you’re doing now, the the expectation of how long that journey really takes.

Aniek Korten [00:40:33]:
Mhmm.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:40:33]:
And then, okay, how do we start to find our talents and our passions? How can we identify them in the work we do, integrate them in the work we do, and use that to really build that energetic baseline in our work. So Yeah. Thank you so much for this today.

Aniek Korten [00:40:48]:
Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed our conversation and I hope the listeners, picked up some, nice tips and tricks.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:40:56]:
Yeah. And as we step away, what is the one thing you want the audience to take away from our conversation today?

Aniek Korten [00:41:03]:
The one thing that I want them to take away, and it’s one of the most important life lessons I’ve learned, is that there is always more there are always more choices than you think. If you ever feel stuck or you feel like, how do I do this? Try to think outside of the box. Make it simple. Ask people around you for a different point of view because there’s always more possibilities than you might think of yourself.

Evelyn Pacitti [00:41:32]:
If you are struggling to find space to reflect and improve your daily energy levels, then I’d like to invite you to one of our free weekly co working sessions. You can find more information about it at measurablewellness.com/energy . I hope to see you soon. Intrigued or inspired by today’s episode, but forgot the details? Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. Visit measurablewellness.com/podcast for a complete summary of today’s episode, including timestamps, links, and other resources for your invention. Wishing you strength and serenity. Evelyn out.