In episode 17 of Engineering Serenity, Feng Shui expert and environmental psychologist Esther Felix shares her story of reconnecting with her spark for designing spaces that nurture well-being and personal growth. Esther opens up about the challenges of balancing her scientific background with the intuitive practices of Feng Shui and shares her strategies for listening to the energies of our homes—and ourselves—to create truly serene spaces.
Listen
[00:01:15] Meet Esther Felix
[00:04:44] Spark: How to Connect with your House
[00:10:28] Discovering the Passion in her Life
[00:17:22] Esther’s Burnout Story
[00:29:41] How does your home support your growth?
[00:35:01] Reconnecting to Intuition from Science
[00:29:57] Where to Start with Feng Shui
[00:45:24] Connect with Esther Felix
[00:46:46] Final Five
[00:47:03] Definition of Serenity
[00:47:49] Master 1 Skill
[00:48:22] Recharge Method: Active vs Passive Rest
[00:48:56] Geeking Out
[00:49:22] Work-Life Blend
[00:52:21] Take Away Message
Transcript
(raw transcript by Happy Scribe, likely contains errors)
[00:00:00.000] – Esther Felix, guest
I think it’s also you becoming more fully who you are. That’s where my house helps me because it’s my own expression, and I see my expression every day. I come home in it, I go away. I jump into new adventures from my house. It’s my check-in and my check-out point.
[00:00:19.900] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Are you ready to reclaim your life from exhaustion and expand the possibilities of what life can be? If so, I’m your guide, Evelyn Paccitti, work-life geek and engineer-turned resiliency coach on a mission to redefine how we work, live, and utilize our energy. Each episode, I dig deep with my guests as they share their story, spark, and strategies for developing our own unique work-life life. This is Engineering Serenity. Episode 17, Serene Spaces with Esther Felix.
[00:00:53.750] – Esther Felix, guest
Hey. Nice to be here.
[00:00:57.050] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Today, we are talking with the lovely Ms. Esther who works in the world of feng shui, and we are going to talk about her journey and where we’re going. But before we get started, I’d like to ask a few basic questions so that we can get to know you better. Are you ready?
[00:01:13.680] – Esther Felix, guest
Yes, I’m totally ready.
[00:01:15.710] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah. So what is your full name and pronouns?
[00:01:20.200] – Esther Felix, guest
My name is Esther Felix. You can call me Esther.
[00:01:23.910] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What is your age-ish?
[00:01:27.340] – Esther Felix, guest
Forty-one.
[00:01:29.340] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What career or industry do you work in?
[00:01:33.150] – Esther Felix, guest
I work in the industry of personal development combined with spatial design. Cool.
[00:01:40.330] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
How many hours do you typically work per week?
[00:01:43.780] – Esther Felix, guest
On average, about 24. Okay.
[00:01:47.960] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Do you like your career?
[00:01:50.190] – Esther Felix, guest
Very, very much. Every day, a bit more.
[00:01:54.840] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Oh, that makes it even better. It’s flowering and blossoming.
[00:01:59.060] – Esther Felix, guest
Yes.
[00:02:00.380] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
On a scale of 1-5, how would you describe your current work-life blend, where 1 is not really and 5 is yes?
[00:02:11.140] – Esther Felix, guest
It’s, I think, going from 3-5. It depends on the day. Today, I feel 5. A week before, it was 3. But then things start floating. There’s a new flow.
[00:02:29.730] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
So you’re in that building of that harmonic place process. That’s a really good thing to dig into today.
[00:02:39.220] – Esther Felix, guest
A bit, really.
[00:02:41.200] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Where are you located in the world?
[00:02:44.450] – Esther Felix, guest
Eindhoven.
[00:02:46.230] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
In the Netherlands?
[00:02:47.200] – Esther Felix, guest
In the Netherlands, yes.
[00:02:49.540] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
We’re neighbors.
[00:02:50.400] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah.
[00:02:52.180] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What culture were you raised in?
[00:02:55.270] – Esther Felix, guest
In the village culture, I would say. A small I live in a village in the Netherlands, more to the north.
[00:03:03.230] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Nice. Describe your household.
[00:03:07.020] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, I have a son, who is five, almost six. And a husband, who’s also working here in the neighborhood. So we live the three of us.
[00:03:21.740] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Do you have any hobbies?
[00:03:25.210] – Esther Felix, guest
Yes. When I was thinking about it, I think my most important hobby is working on my house, making things in my house. And besides that, I do yoga, meditation. I dance. What dance? But I like to be creative. It’s at the Salsa Cool. Here in Eindhoven. It’s called the Tchata. I hope you know it. I do not. Kind of latin dance.
[00:03:53.160] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Nice. And what are you building in the house?
[00:03:56.060] – Esther Felix, guest
What am I building? Well, it can also be small things. Like, since I’m working with Fink Spray, I started sewing. So I made some window covering. Very cool. A nice clothes for our shoe drawer. I repair my own ceramics with a Japanese technique.
[00:04:20.270] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Oh, the one with the golden glue?
[00:04:22.330] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, I love it. Yeah. Beautiful. Now I dare to buy more expensive It’s very expensive cups. I really like ceramics, but it’s also very expensive. But now I know how to repair it, and it even gets nicer with the gold. I dare to invest more in it.
[00:04:42.880] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Nice. Beautiful. Tell me, what are you excited about right now? What’s your spark right now?
[00:04:53.060] – Esther Felix, guest
I’m running a challenge, and it’s about making people feel about their house. I had a scientific education. I learned how to rationalize everything, how to understand everything with my head. But I’m on a mission now to make people feel because I think that’s my most important lesson from working with Fintech Way, that you can feel it. You can feel if your environment works for you or not. I’m exploring how I can make people feel again and use their intuition again in working with their house.
[00:05:34.300] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Tell me about how you can feel your house.
[00:05:39.120] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. If I could tell this now in one minute, it would be really nice.
[00:05:46.190] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
We’re in a podcast. You don’t have to restrain a two minutes. This is a conversation. So just explain to me how you feel your house.
[00:05:55.350] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, the first thing is to slow down. I think. Because when you are rushing, you can’t feel. When you’re rushing through your house, only busy with your tasks to do, you can’t feel how it is. So the first phase is to slow down and start feeling what you feel. So I use things like meditation or visualization. I use creative assignments, like making photos or I make people write about their house. So moments to check in with yourself and feel what you really feel.
[00:06:34.090] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What usually comes up as someone who’s new to feeling their house, how would you know you’re on the right track?
[00:06:44.210] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, people ask me often, I’m okay about my house. How can I see it’s not okay? But I think it’s good to realize that more than 90% of what we perceive in our environment, it’s going through our unconscious mind. Only seven, even less % is we perceive it consciously. In order to see your environment for what it is, you should get more to your unconscious levels. And I think Shui gives words to that. And yeah, thank you about your question, how can you feel it? Well, there are certain signs in your environment. When you really look at it, it can be a sign of being more chaotic or restless in your house. Like there are more piles of projects coming into your house. Or what I see often is that there is a lot of stuff or that the house is so tidy that there is no movement possible. Like you don’t dare to play there. So it can be two directions or very, very tiny or it can be a bit, yeah, a lot of stuff. But mostly people are not aware of it. They sense that there is something and there’s something which is not right or you can’t choose a color.
[00:08:09.950] – Esther Felix, guest
For me, it was, for example, I was working all the time with my living room and it didn’t get cozy and I didn’t know what to do anymore. I hang all kinds of things on the wall. I painted it and I do paintings off and hang them on again. I didn’t even close the holes in the wall anymore because it was changing all the time. But I didn’t know what to do. So it is this feeling of, you know there’s something needed, but you don’t know what. It’s a feeling of, actually, some people go away from their house all the time. They plant things outside the house to relax. They meet friends outside the house to relax. They go to a nature, to a forest or something. But your house can be also place to relax and to be comfortable and have to start to realize.
[00:09:08.340] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
How do you know when it’s feeling correct? For example, your living room. Have you found peace in the living room? What does it feel like now? Because I assume it’s not always bad. It’s like your house could probably also feel nice.
[00:09:24.100] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, it can be. Well, for me, it is looking at my living room was at the same time when I was reorienting what to do with my career. And I started with this education in Feng shui. And there I learned when which color works. So now it feels like things come together. It’s feeling like, oh, yeah, this feels nice. And also when people come to my house who haven’t been there for a while, they say, Oh, this really works nicely together. This feeling that it’s… How can you feel it? It gives a peace of mind. I think it’s a peace of mind that you don’t have to change everything anymore. When I painted the wall, it has been empty for months. Now there’s only one small painting on it. The feeling that it’s Right. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:10:18.360] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
And how did you make that transition to knowing, okay, it’s not comfortable, it’s not comfortable, it’s not comfortable. Now it’s right. What was that bridge from one to the other?
[00:10:31.570] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, for me, it all started when I had a burnout in my life. It was end of 2019, 2020. And then also there was this COVID virus. So I was more at home. I was slowing down. I was taking better care of myself. And I know at a certain point, I also quit my job, so I was really at home being with myself. Then at a certain point, it started to bubble again. I felt like I want to go back to my roots to working with interior or with people in their houses. Because of my background, I landed in the world of innovation and healthcare technology, but I wasn’t really happy anymore there at a certain point. For me, it was also the transition to becoming more who I am, getting back in my own rhythm. I listened to podcast, I think, with Nina Elshof, who is also my mentor now at Feng Shui. I don’t know, I think I went to it up. I went to an inspiration session and I was there with my critical mind, who’s telling me it’s working like this, but who invented this. But I could feel it, that I was touched.
[00:12:02.520] – Esther Felix, guest
I could feel it in my heart that there’s something in it for me, and I just want to try it.
[00:12:07.730] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Where it is an inspiration session about Feng shui?
[00:12:11.670] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. It was an inspiration session just one afternoon. And after that, I was a bit doubting, is this for me? Isn’t it too much hoax focus? I still had that image then that it was hoax focus. And with a friend of mine said, It sounds really like you. I could feel it. It’s something you feel in your heart when it touch your shoe. So I was curious enough to try it. I started with the one-year education adventure How did you move from that very…
[00:12:47.110] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
I think that’s something I see over and over again, especially in this audience, is we’re very analytical thinkers. We’re in our head. We are looking at the science and the data and the conclusions. It sounds like that’s a background that you also came from, correct?
[00:13:04.080] – Esther Felix, guest
Yes. I think actually now in state, it’s like I’ve been busy with our house past year, and one of the things we did was dining and going to our stuff. Actually, this really helped me to find the red line in my life because I also opened a box with all the study stuff at my father’s house, and I found an old sketchbook of my study of architecture. In this sketchbook, I did a project about nature, architecture, and people, like how this is interrelated. I came across Feng shui. It was in 2006, I think. 2005, 2006. I wrote there, I’m not going into this. It’s too much hook’s focus. So I really use that word. And then in this project, we had to design a pavilion, and I really designed it from my experience of one year in Japan, where I was that year before. And at the end of the project, I was so frustrated because I designed something from my feeling, from my intuition. And the only thing my teachers could say was, you have to I said, You have to prove it with scientific data. You have to prove it with scientific data.
[00:14:19.970] – Esther Felix, guest
It’s my feeling. I want to feel. This is what I, a year, I have lived through this experience and I express this in this design. Can’t you Can’t you feel it? Actually, I realized this year that it was already there, but I couldn’t connect it yet. I couldn’t connect this scientific world with what I was already feeling in my heart. But what I did, I switched to another master then. I went to study more to the field of environmental psychology. So I made a change to working more with the experience of people, but still on a scientific level. And I think because of my burn out, and it was the third time in my life, I crashed. I had also a strictly strain injury in my shoulder. So I have been ignoring my body for a long time. But when I had this burnout, I went to a Nike master. I knew her from the yoga school because I was thinking, Well, now it’s the time to be able to do it differently. This is the third time. And Yeah.
[00:15:31.100] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
I want us to take one step back and learn more about that story. You’re in school, you built something with inspiration. You built something that you truly felt, and you got the feedback, make it more practical, make it more data-driven. You switched to that master’s in environmental psychology. Were you working in that field as your burnouts came up? Tell me more about where were those burnouts? How did they show up in that process?
[00:16:00.780] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, actually, first, I studied here at Technical University in Eindhoven, and there I did a course on environment psychology, and after that, also about perception. But it was, again, so technical, like how your eyes function and your ears. It was like, this is not type of perception I want to learn about. So I switched to the University of Wageningen, and there it was more about talking to people about their perception, more qualitative research. And I actually worked with older people as a student job.
[00:16:34.720] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Okay.
[00:16:35.420] – Esther Felix, guest
I really like their stories, their experience in life. I thought, I wanted to do something with it in my thesis. I did a research on how people experience their house when they become older and maybe need care or lose people. So that has been the red line in my working life, like how people experience a house or the building they work and live in, but from the user perspective. And I studied in a qualitative way, but still not so much from the heart.
[00:17:14.110] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Okay. So you were starting to go from quantitative to qualitative, but not with an intuition line inside of it. What career were you working in while you were having the burnouts?
[00:17:27.060] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, my last year, yeah, I don’t call the other what’s a bird eyes, but it was like a typical moments in my life, actually. I had the illness of fiber. I didn’t know if you know it. When I did my graduation at the high school. Okay. So then I was sick. And the second one was when I did my internship in an office where we sat 40 hours a day after our desk, we went to our desk. So in an environment, I wanted to show myself doing really well. So it’s also about proving yourself and aiming high. But really, I actually, I disconnected from my body, I think.
[00:18:13.990] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
And what was your body telling to you, what symptoms were showing up in that space?
[00:18:19.270] – Esther Felix, guest
Pain in my shoulder. Really, I remember that when I was going to a therapist, and the first thing I I had to do was moving an empty paper box in my cupboard, up and down. And that gave me pain in my shoulder, just actually only lifting the weight of my arm. So I had to learn everything from scratch, brushing my teeth. I was everything doing in my upper body. Wow. I’m showing it now on screen. I think I loaded the world on my shoulders. Being feeling responsible for everything, wanted to do really well. Thinking I should act in a certain way because I have been studying and I’m an intelligent person, so I should act this way and be in a certain way.
[00:19:18.190] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
That experience that you’re describing during your internship, was that the burnout in 2019?
[00:19:24.310] – Esther Felix, guest
No, I think that was in 2009.
[00:19:26.600] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Okay, so in 2009, you already had this first glimpse that things were not okay? Yeah. What happened in those 10 years?
[00:19:34.400] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, that’s a good question. Yeah. Well, I had a really nice job at a research center in the Netherlands. And I had a nice job at the University for Applied Sciences in Eindhoven. And I thought one job is not enough. I combined it with another one. So I was also a project leader in health institution for with other people. And it was connected. But I started with two jobs at a point in my life, which was really intense. We bought the house where we live now. My mother lived here last month, and I was really trying to keep my head above the water. So I have this habit of combining everything. And when I’m busy, my bold me was doing more things, trying I’m warm. And then I became a mother, five years ago. And then I tried it to squeeze everything I did in four days, in three days. Then I I don’t think anymore. I guess my brain unplug.
[00:20:50.720] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
So how did this symptoms in 2019, when you really fully burnt out, how did it show up differently than it did in 2009?
[00:20:59.280] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, it was even more intense. And I think in 2009, I was alone. So I had only myself to take care of. And now I had a son and a husband and a family lie. Yeah. And two jobs. Well, at that moment, I already quit one job, so I had one job.
[00:21:23.260] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Did your shoulder pain come back? How was it showing up?
[00:21:27.660] – Esther Felix, guest
My burn out? Well, it was literally I couldn’t think anymore. It was a big blur in my head because I made an appointment at the end of 2019 with my coach, and I said, I have to choose what to do because I’m doing too many things. We were sitting there and I just couldn’t get it straight. I I don’t know if to go forth or back, left or right. She told me, I think you are much far more exhausted than you realize. You have to say you’re sick. I thought, Okay, well, I say I’m sick. It’s just before the Christmas holiday, and then after that, we’ll see. But once you say and admit you are not right, then it all comes out. I was just really tired and over stimulated It’s… Yeah. Yeah.
[00:22:18.410] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What was the thing that started to bring you back? Once you admitted you were sick and you were down, how long were you out? What did the recovery look like for Well, for me, actually, it was the COVID period.
[00:22:35.110] – Esther Felix, guest
It was a blessing, actually, because for a few months, I didn’t have to do anything like the doctor. She didn’t call me because everybody was trying to find out what to do. So I didn’t have to go back to my work. I was just being outside with my son who was just starting to walk. But then it started again where I think it was in May, so after four months. Then I started again with being at meetings, and it was sitting behind my screen, and I thought, This is not how I thought to spend this period. I heard my colleagues and what they were talking about. I just really don’t want to go back to this world, which is even more people that you have to do everything online, I think. So I thought, Yeah, let’s see this period as an opportunity, and what do I want to do in this period? So this is not working. I just wanted to be with myself. Actually, I decided not to reintegrate. I learned this term recently, like positive desintegration. So I desintegrate from my work. I decided to stop because I think also for me, the burnout was also because I was not doing where my heart is or what my passion is.
[00:24:08.670] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah, you were not in alignment.
[00:24:11.220] – Esther Felix, guest
No, I was not in alignment. So yeah, I quit my job, actually. And also without any backup. So I invested some of my savings to be free. And Well, that was really nice and also difficult because then you hear the voice in your head even stronger about what you should do, now you have the time. So I came across myself even more. I got to know myself. I learned more about myself on another level. But at a certain point, I don’t know, I started feeling that I wanted to do something. And For me, it always worked to do some education. Usually, I first do the education and I start doing it.
[00:25:09.060] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Okay.
[00:25:11.770] – Esther Felix, guest
I wanted to be inspired again. Because of my grandmother died, I got this in a month of money and I invested it in a year of feng shui. It really took the time to learn and work on our own, Boon House. Then, gradually, there came a shift because what really worked well for me is that your house asks you to just do it. It’s visible, tangible, it’s physical. You can really do it. If you do it consciously and slowly, then it helped me really connect with how I feel. So I’ve been crying a lot last year’s. Yeah. And it also brought me to a coach. We went to relationship therapy because it… Yeah, a lot came out. Everything would be piled up in our house. Yeah, there came movement, and it was good.
[00:26:20.400] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah. The courage to know that it’s not right and that it’s not fitting to take that step. How was for you to make that decision?
[00:26:34.580] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, for some reason, it felt really powerful. I felt really strong, actually. Yeah. Oh, wow. Once I’ve admitted it for myself. And I think, looking back, I’ve been on different… Also stopping with my study of architecture was also such a moment that I decided I’m not going to be architects. And do something else. This was also such a moment. And now, yeah, I also felt the adventure or something. I felt deep inside that this was What I should do.
[00:27:17.750] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
So that powerful moment of adventure. Did you know where you were going? It feels like that shift was quite a ways down the road for you.
[00:27:30.700] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. I have a nice poem, him hanging above my desk. I know what my path is, but I don’t know the destination. I know where I’m going, but I don’t know how it looks like yet. This feeling. That actually keeps me going, especially when you are an entrepreneur, I think, and insecure all the time. It came more than once a day. What am I doing?
[00:27:59.690] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
What was I thinking when I decided to go on the road less traveled?
[00:28:06.470] – Esther Felix, guest
What if something happens to me? I have a husband who works, fortunately. But I’m also really on myself and building my own trust. You’re on your own. Building my own trust and exploring and finding joy in it. Because that’s what I’ve Just throughout my life, sometimes I step off the roads. I was going to Japan, sitting there on my balcony in the heat, thinking, Why did I go here? Nobody. But it all So, yeah, it all went well in it, and I found my way. So I learned that I dive in, and then I learn.
[00:28:57.510] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
But also that combination of things you were saying, How you’re constantly combining, whether it’s multiple jobs or disciplines. Now it’s in that home space.
[00:29:08.200] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah.
[00:29:08.840] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
And what I asked you, do you like your career? You’re like, every day it gets better.
[00:29:12.780] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. You’re building more trust, you think? Yeah. And I think it’s also you becoming more fully who you are. And that’s where my house helps me in because it’s my own expression, and I see my expression every day. I come home in it, I go away. I jump into new adventures from my house. It’s my check-in and my check-out point, though.
[00:29:41.260] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Tell me a bit more about how the home supports us in our adventures and finding our own trust. You talked a bit about how it can talk to you and you can feel into your house and you go slower.
[00:29:58.430] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, I think I can explain this. Well, what you do when you go to a normal interior architect, you get an image presented of what it can be, and then you get a color number and this chair, you should buy there. You get this a fixed image, I think. But what I do is I look with people like, Which movement do you want to bring in your light? For example, you want to be more fibrant. You want to give more space to yourself. You want to maybe give more room to get the connections in your life. This movement, you can connect it to the element of wood. This is in Chinese philosophy, we work with five elements, and every element has its own color, has its own energy. Wood is the element of spraying, it’s vibrant. It’s the energy of connection, of personal growth. So then you can add elements of that in your house, for example, more plants or a Greek collar on the wall or a fabric like cotton or linen. It’s also Connected to wood. So you look to what wood do you want to bring you in life or which development you want to bring in your life and what, which are yours, which colors are connected to that.
[00:31:27.830] – Esther Felix, guest
And this is a We understand it because it’s our natural way of being. It’s connected to nature, the natural cycle of how things are in the world. Yeah, that’s what you can feel.
[00:31:44.050] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
So does a home stay static, or is it really tied to the phase you are in your life?
[00:31:52.970] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, I think it grows with you. People always ask me, Is my own house, things’s way? And I always say, No, it’s work in progress. It’s not like an outfit you change over one day. It grows with you. And we always advise people to do it slowly so you can feel the effect of it. So don’t redesign your house in one day or one week or one month, but take years for it and then do it step by step.
[00:32:22.400] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
How does that work in a family situation where different people need different things from the home and the spaces?
[00:32:30.560] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, that’s also often the thing that people get stuck in, the husband wants something else than the women who are like, children have other needs than parents. What I also work with is night star key. This is like Feng shui. What is that? Feng shui. Feng shui works with elements in your house. And Nine Star Ki, it works with the elements in us as a person. So some call it astrology, but It’s not based on the… It’s also originating in China. You will base it on your date of birth. But it’s not working with the animals and the planet, but it’s more working with the stars and the elements. So you can be more an earthy person or maybe more fire in your cell. It’s a really intuitive way of describing how you move through life. Why I tell this? It’s because I use this also in my advice. I show people, you are more a good person, and they take decisions differently. Like wood is the energy of spring. It’s enthusiastic. It sees quickly what is necessary. And Earth, it’s more the energy of thinking over things. It’s like the steady ground under our feet.
[00:33:59.690] – Esther Felix, guest
It also It has its quality, but it’s more thinking about it. So I give people insight in how they work and how the family system works, and then also how this relates to the house. So I think from an insight in how you function, it’s easier to make decisions together. And the second thing is that, yeah, it’s not about taste anymore. It’s not about I like this and I like that. It’s about what’s needed in your life. So it’s about It’s this corner of the house needs this energy or this element, and there you make a choice in together. It’s a limit, actually, all the choices you can make when you want to choose a color, it’s limited to a color of green because of the element of root. It’s easier to choose, and it brings it to a different level.
[00:34:55.690] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Oh, interesting.
[00:34:57.740] – Esther Felix, guest
Can you understand if- Oh, no, I totally do.
[00:35:01.550] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
You have tools and frameworks that you’re using from your training, but it’s also a very intuitive process. What does this space mean? Was it hard to move from that mindset of a researcher in technical environment to a state of trusting your intuition?
[00:35:23.100] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. I think I sometimes still struggled with it. Also, What I was learned is it’s good to work with your head. And that’s more… Actually, it’s maybe more important than creating things. So that’s what I recently noticed in myself that I had… I experienced a barrier to start making things with my hands. And this is because I have this really strong conviction that it’s… When I go to my office and I work, I see myself sitting behind a computer. But actually, our intelligent brain can do much more things. And there’s also this new intuitive part. In this part, he me says, I want to make things with my hands. So yet this house also mirrors me like, why am I just not making time for just doing things in my house? Why am I sitting behind my desk doing things behind a computer? It’s because I think somewhere I still have this conviction. But yeah, make the step to really work in my house. It’s every time letting myself, like I’m allowing myself to do it and to work with my hands and my intuition. I can still feel sometimes a barrier in myself, but I also know how it feels when I’m working from my heart and I can activate that.
[00:37:00.390] – Esther Felix, guest
More and more easily because it’s just a Chenai feeling. It’s like the feeling of a loving presence, like this loving energy. It’s addictive, actually.
[00:37:20.290] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah, that’s stepping into that love and that spark.
[00:37:24.780] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but it hasn’t been easy. And also, you start noticing what has been told to you throughout your life and how you perceive things. And I started to realize it’s not who I truly am. So in our house, we have now soft curtains, softer colors, warm colors to remind me of, yeah, this is a movement I want to bring in in my life. I may be softer, I may be more in my body. Yeah.
[00:38:06.340] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
That softness, that movement. So if someone is intrigued by this idea of how to use their house to start reconnecting with themselves, where they want to go, start to move into a place of intuition, where would you even start in this journey? Coming from an analytical skepticism, too much hocus-pocus, where do you start in this journey?
[00:38:35.520] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, what I sometimes say to people is just make a moment for yourself and Find a comfortable position in your house, maybe on a chair or your couch. Make a cup of tea. Just make sure you’re commonly disturbed. Just sit down. And then just start looking around. Or first, what I first usually do is do a body scan. How do I sit? Feel where your body touches the chair or the couch. Go with your attention to your breath. Feel how you’re breathing. And then feel how you feel in the house. I also do this when I visit people’s houses. Usually, they’re We’re busy. Then we sit at the kitchen table and start to make a habit of it to just start with a short meditation, just like I do now, just ground. Feel your body, feel how you’re sitting. And then you feel people sink into theirselves. And then we can look at, What did I create around myself? How does it look like? Is it all the same colors or maybe different colors? What materials do I see? What do these stuff or items around me mean to me? How do I move to the house?
[00:40:14.910] – Esther Felix, guest
Do I use every room? Or are there maybe rooms in the house I never come? Or what I do now in the challenge is just come and go. Or just approach your house consciously. Maybe with your car or your bike and you just walk to the house and realize where you’re walking. How do I feel when I go to my house? Am I happy to be home again? Or actually, do I? Am I already planning where to go next? Practice, slow down, literally walk slower.
[00:40:57.240] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
So I see that it’s hard materials are soft. I see the patterns and the colors. What do I do with that information?
[00:41:13.120] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, I think actually it’s difficult to do something with it yourself because it’s your daily environment, which is full of routines and unconscious behavior. So I would say if you want to go into it, I would advise you to ask somebody to help you be or a colleague. For example, what I did with my own house, I arranged a tour with my husband, so he was leading me around the house and I took pictures, and then I could look at it more from a distance. But it took me more than a year to study this area and also to explain what I see. I think it’s really difficult to do it as a normal, average person. I have grown my consciousness on this topic. I’ve worked with my own house, I’ve lived it through. I think it’s good to have an outsider to look with you. I learned that also from qualitative research, the inhabitants or the owner of the house is the insider. As an outsider, I help people to gain more consciousness in their process, like you do as a coach as well. You can think over and over yourself what you’re doing and how your behavior is, but sometimes you need somebody else to bring it to the next level, to gain a new insight, to ask questions.
[00:42:52.150] – Esther Felix, guest
That’s what I usually do, just asking questions, just walking around through the house together. And that already does something, me being there in your house, seeing your most private parts. I also sometimes look in a cupboard. How do you arrange your stuff? I look under the bed. This is really intimate. That’s what really fulfills me every day, I think. When people allow me to be in their house and see what it is, Yeah, that’s really touching me when I’m telling this. Yeah, this is the most intimate space. When you go outside the door, standing at the play garden with your child, you can fresh up, do your makeup, just put a smile on. But when you’re in the house of people, it’s honest. You can’t change it overnight. So I would advise, give yourself the present of asking somebody to help you.
[00:44:06.040] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah. They give you the perspective and ask the questions.
[00:44:09.810] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah. And then you can work with it yourself. Because I make an analysis and I also present a plan with them, a floor plan, where to do what. But then you can make your own choices. I give you an insight in the analysis. I give you an insight in how from the analysis, I come to the solutions, and then you can work with it yourself.
[00:44:35.490] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Okay. But you need that perspective shift outside of your routine. So there’s a bit of a trap in our own minds and our own habits and routines and perspectives.
[00:44:48.330] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, you don’t see it. Yeah. And especially in the house, it’s our unconscious mind producing unconscious behavior. It’s just our habits. It’s just how we work because else we We would get crazy. I think if we would perceive all the information from our environment consciously, then we would get crazy. So it’s only like some people say 2%, some people say 7% that we can receive consciously. Wow. That you are in a room and you think by yourself, Oh, this is for them. You don’t see the other part. Interesting.
[00:45:24.960] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Well, thank you for that. If people want to learn more about you, what you do, Where can they connect with you?
[00:45:32.940] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, a few weeks ago, I launched my own website.
[00:45:36.350] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Congratulations.
[00:45:36.990] – Esther Felix, guest
So this is… Yeah, thank you. It’s also a birth process, giving birth to my birth of my new me. So there I share my stories. There’s also an article about the basic principles of Feng shui. We’ll add more also experiences of other people. It’s in Dutch, but maybe you can run it through Google Translate. I’m now doing a challenge on Instagram as an experiment. I’m not that much into social media because it’s fast and fluid. But this is my challenge for myself. To become more visible and try if I can work with a group of people and feel more in our houses, slow down. I think when When this podcast is published, it’s the finish, but you can look it back.
[00:46:34.380] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Wonderful.
[00:46:35.280] – Esther Felix, guest
But my base camp is my website. That’s where you can find my contact information.
[00:46:42.720] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Wonderful. Well, thank you very much. As we wrap up today’s episode, I would like to ask you the final five questions I ask all of my guests. Are you ready?
[00:46:54.370] – Esther Felix, guest
Yes. Yes.
[00:46:56.120] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Let’s do this. If I can ever find the questions. There. Okay. What is your definition of serenity?
[00:47:07.570] – Esther Felix, guest
My definition of serenity is… I would say feeling at home, but it’s maybe so abstract. It’s about… I would say peace of mind. Is that you can gain this peace of mind by learning more about your environment And how it influences you. From my professional perspective.
[00:47:35.410] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
But the first thing you said was being at home. Is that what you said?
[00:47:39.670] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, feeling at peace.
[00:47:40.230] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Feeling at peace.
[00:47:42.170] – Esther Felix, guest
So peace where you are in yourself, in your daily environment.
[00:47:47.490] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Beautiful. If you could master one skill instantly, what would it be?
[00:47:55.130] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, the word that comes into my mind is being bold. Being bold. Being bold. Being bold. I think actually, when I speak English, it’s easier. I don’t know. Not in your native language.
[00:48:10.780] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
To be bold?
[00:48:12.250] – Esther Felix, guest
To be bold in the sense of speak up. To show herself.
[00:48:18.260] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
That’s an interesting insight. What is your favorite method to recharge during the workday?
[00:48:27.250] – Esther Felix, guest
I like to go for a I’m on a troll outside. And when I’m at home, I also sometimes do a meditation after my lunch break, after recharge.
[00:48:40.000] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
How long is that meditation usually for you?
[00:48:44.920] – Esther Felix, guest
You are all around? 20 to 30 minutes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:48:54.060] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Nice check-in session. What are you geeking out about right now?
[00:48:59.060] – Esther Felix, guest
I never use that word. What is geeking? Well, where I’m really into is…
[00:49:06.800] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Yeah.
[00:49:07.680] – Esther Felix, guest
Yeah, the question. How they can make people feel, how their environment feels for them. Yeah. So this is where I’m really experimenting on. Yeah. Oh, cool.
[00:49:22.170] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Assume you’ve achieved the optimal work-life blend. How would you describe a typical day?
[00:49:28.140] – Esther Felix, guest
From morning to evening? Yeah. Go ahead. Well, I had a dream life meditation last year, and I saw myself waking up on a lazy summer day when the sun shines through the curtains, we have time to cuddle in the bed with our sun. I wake up, make a slow tea for myself. Fresh herbs. I open the curtains, sun shines on my face. And I go to my working place where I write and create. And in between, I see myself talking with people at the kitchen table, being in their houses. Make them feel, make them creative again, feel their creative flow. Come home, where my husband cooks a nice dinner. So I When they have to sit down and just eat. Relax, just a relaxing time. There are flowers, there are sunshine. And creativity. I think, I don’t know if I already mentioned that, but most people who come to me already were creative in their lives. They made their own furniture or they were suing, but they lost it. They were just busy with their lives and being in their mind, being intelligent. So often it’s also about coming back in and to create your creative flow again.
[00:51:06.240] – Esther Felix, guest
I think all the wisdom is in yourself. You only have to start feeling it again. So my perfect day is created. So in the moments.
[00:51:17.300] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
I can feel that it’s raw and honest and powerful. It’s really deep and beautiful.
[00:51:28.390] – Esther Felix, guest
I feel really relaxed We’ll tell you this. Like, oh, yeah. It’s like the sun is shining here.
[00:51:37.940] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Thank you for sharing. And thank you for sharing your red line of Finding that story and remembering the moments of inspiration and creativity, sharing the journey of all of this ups and downs and burnouts, but still showing us where the pieces were that showed you and reminded you to take that bold action, that powerful action, to start the adventure and give us some insight on how to start to feel. Thank you so much. As we step away, what is the one thing you want the audience to take away from our discussion today?
[00:52:21.600] – Esther Felix, guest
Well, the invitation to start feeling again, to make room for yourself, literally. Maybe you can think, do you have space for yourself in your house? What’s your place where you check in? Make room for yourself, for your true self. Start working on it. You’re worth it. We are worth it. So there can be more creativity and connect. So you can lift your potential. That’s where it always comes to my mind. See the potential of your environment again. And through it, your own potential.
[00:53:05.290] – Evelyn Pacitti, host
Intrigued or inspired by today’s episode, but forgot the details? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Visit engineering serenity. Com for a complete summary of today’s episode, including timestance links and other resources for your adventure. Wishing you strengthened serenity. Evelyn out.